My best friend Knarley Manners, pulled into the yard with his latest used Chevy pickup, most were at least twenty years old with a short lease on life, with Knarley putting them through bog holes and crossing rivers just, “to see what they could do”; this time he had an aluminum boat and a Chesapeake in the back. He was pretty excited and pulled into the yard a little fast bouncing the boat and dog over my yard moguls. I walked over to see what all the excitement was about, once the load had come to rest.
Knarley was really excited and Knarley wasn’t the type to get excited, whether it was a charging Grizzly or a Mountain Lion in the meat locker, Knarley was known for remaining cool and detached.
“What’s going on Knarley? Is that a new dog?”
“Yea, I got me a new dog and he’s a good’un. Get your shotgun, were goin goose huntin.”
Knarley and I were not goose hunters, we never hunted birds except for grouse and ptarmigan while camped in the mountains and that was more like going to the hen house for chicken. There was so much big game in the area, hunting for ducks and geese seemed to be a waste of time. Besides after facing the Grizzly at close quarters, everything else was pretty much an imitation of hunting, but goose hunting? Oh well, Knarley had something up his sleeve and his practical jokes, although creative, were sometimes downright mean.
“I don’t know Knarley, I was going to take my black powder rifle and try to get that old mule deer up on the hill.”
“Get your damn shotgun. This is important.”
Now, Knarley was religious, being a Jehova’s Witness and all, so if he was up to swearing, he probably had something important to show me.
“How’s the outboard running?”
“It’s running great, I just rebuilt it a couple of nights ago, don’t worry about the motor.”
I walked in the ranch house and picked up my dad’s old Sears and Roebuck, single shot, full choke, thirty inch barrel, 12 gage, with 6 magnum loads and we were off to the Peace River.
Once we launched and Knarley pinned the outboard full throttle, we were zipping away pretty fast to an area with some grain fields on the banks of the Peace, Knarley always rammed engines as fast as they could go and he was terribly hard on boats, trucks, and airplanes; but the guy always knew where the game was. We glided in between an overhanging bank and a spruce snag in the water, it was a nice blind and required no effort for concealment. We set out three or four decoys and waited for the action. The first bird flew over a few minutes later.
“Boom” Knarley’s twelve gage knocked it down in the river. The dog watched the goose fall and was ready to retrieve the bird. Knarley looked at his dog. “dog, get that bird” he said with solemnity.
The dog climbed out of the boat carefully instead of using the great leap I was expecting and walked across the water to the bird, picked it up and walked back to the boat and dropped it inside and climbed back in the boat. I didn’t say a thing; I just looked up into the sky for another bird.
The scenario was repeated several more times and the dog used the same technique of walking on the water each time. Knarley was beside himself with excitement and expected me to comment; but I was maintaining the code of silence that hunters observe to be successful. Finally, Knarley could no longer control his excitement, he asked, “What do you think of my new dog?”
I kept looking at the sky and replied half heartedly, “He’ll do, he’ll do.”
Needless to say, this wasn’t the answer Knarley was looking for, he tried a different question, “Did you notice anything unusual about him?”
I looked him directly in the eye, “Knarley, it’s not like me to critique a man’s dog, his horse, or his wife, it’s just not good manners; but since you are going to badger me until I tell you the truth, I will tell you about your dog. That dog can’t swim.
Now this is the type of story that is told over the campfire at hunting camp, after a nice meal of moose roast, turnips and mountain huckleberry pie and after the Irish whiskey has been served two or three times. It is told in good spirits with a great laugh at the end.
Unfortunately, we have a president who can’t lead and this is no joke. The infantry squad leader has a better command of his squad and leads with more responsibility than our president is showing. A squad leader will have fire team leaders that he can deploy with precision and confidence, he also knows the skill levels of his fire team leaders and the capabilities of each squad member.
Our president has appointed political hacks around himself and has no one with know how or executive experience to bail him out; consequently, he is faced with America’s greatest ecological disaster and all he can do is pontificate, point his finger, and threaten, between golf games while he tells us we need Green Energy programs that have failed in Europe and a Cap and Trade Program that is based on an unproven theory with bogus statistics that will cripple our economy and trade US sovereignty and wealth to Third World Dictators and the United Nations.
Yes, the old “That dog can’t swim” joke, is no longer funny; it is too close to “that president can’t lead” joke, that isn’t even a joke.” Actually, give me a squared away squad leader and I will show you a man with more leadership ability than this president, way more.
A professional horseman for over 50 years, Skook continues to work with horses. Skook has finished an historical novel, Fifty Thousand Years, that traces a mitochondrial line of DNA from 50,000 years ago to the present. The story follows a line of courageous women, from the Ice Ages to the present, as they meet the challenges of survival with grit and creativity. These are not women who whimper of being victims, they meet the challenges of survival as women who use their abilities without excuses or remorse, these women are winners, they are our ancestors.
Fifty Thousand Years is available in paperback and e-book, it is getting great reviews. You can purchase a copy here; Visit me on Facebook.
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Dylantheauthor
Another wise tale.
Thanks Don, I have a couple more in the works; but they are much more complicated and I have been working on them for weeks. Who would think that horse stories and hunting stories could be complicated. Normally they aren’t, it’s the political and moral analogy that is the tricky part. I am not looking for sympathy, just trying to explain the lack of outdoors stories to the people who look for them now and then.
Keep The Faith. Long Live The Republic.
I’ve been working on several stories that seem simple on the surface… until the writing begins anyway.
Always love your posts, Skookum. This may have been the most difficult to read being too close to reality.
SKOOKUM: hi, ARE YOU working on your book?; as time goes by, you must have quite a bit to finish that book, and this one is good also, bye 🙄
Ms Bees, I am continually amazed at your improvement with grasping complex concepts in a second language. Comprehending humor in a second language is an even greater accomplishment. I must ask, did you understand the humor in the hunting story?
There were several vague humorous lines that are meant for the mind that actually seeks humor, as opposed to the mind that demands to be entertained with obvious and simple jokes, many people refuse to accept humor that is not clearly defined; but it is the line, “That dog can’t swim.” that intrigues me about your sense of humor. Some English speakers will see no humor and consider it to be a stupid statement and lifeless: others will laugh out loud and there will be many in between the extremes. There is a complication when English is a second language, further complicated by my sexist observation that women don’t seem to be as proficient at appreciating humor, in other words, they seem to possess a compromised sense of humor. This isn’t a scientific observation, just a casual observation, tainted with a dash of machismo.
Now we must get back to the main question, do you read this as humor or a cute story? This isn’t exactly on the subject, but the interest level is lagging anyway. So, how do you plead Ms Bees, humorous or not humorous?
Months earlier you might have felt as if I were picking on you with this cross examination; now, I am hoping that you see the humor, such as it is. Still, the world awaits in giant suspenders for your response.
Brother Bob, it was difficult and frustrating; frustrating because it is hard to capture the anger I feel at the incompetence and arrogance of this Administration toward containment and clean-up of the oil.
I know environmentalists will say a former trapper, hunting guide, and fisherman doesn’t love nature; but I think I love nature far more than the Elites Environmentalists in their mansions who contribute to the preservation of wildlife that they never see. I can feel for the animals in the gulf and feel their struggles with impending death and their feeble efforts to understand why they are in such a losing struggle with death. I love nature and understand it in a far different way than people who have the perverted views of Disney and the Nature channel type view of nature.
Yet this president, who had the environmentalists as part of his coalition, seems to have no empathy for the wild life that is dieing by the millions and is more concerned with his golf game as do the environmentalists, whom I think are just another front group that is an enemy of the American people. Yes the money you give to save the whales and preserve the Sierras is more than likely being spent in ways that are counter productive to the security and integrity of the US.
Yes there is anger and frustration Brother Bob, I just wish I was a great writer and thinker so that I could express that anger and frustration. 👿
This gives me the chance to brag about Kanoo, my 150 lb., son of a champion rottweiler. I trained him to roll boulders, fetch 8′ 2by 4s, and chase jack rabbits. I’ll let you know when I put him on youtube. He howls to opera also.
He’s built like Arnold, mostly black( typical mahogany traits) and Germanic. A real Schwartsneger.
@Oil guy: I am intrigued with his musical abilities. How did you find out he likes opera? Are you by chance an opera fan? Does he appreciate RAP? I tend to like old fashioned country and Blue Grass; but my dogs don’t have a preference.
My Catahoula pup, 15 months, is going to get an evaluation by Riverside County as a tracking dog when I return from working in the Yukon. They are convinced that it takes someone with black magic animal and tracking skills and they think i am their man. My dog has a good nose, but he can’t get side tracked with rabbits and deer, major temptations, like whiskey for a drunk. I hope it is something he can do, because it will be a good job for the two of us, tracking lost kids and violent killers, I could get into that kind of work.
SKOOKUM: hi, you know, this is very full of humor, as also all others; IT always bring a few chuckles, along with others emotions; IT is you completly, anyone can spot your storys as SKOOKUM writer, all writer have a different personality; but theses storys are unique and precious to all who read it. bye thank you for your previous comment. 🙄
oil guy from ALBERTA: hi, wow,150 pounds, a super breed, I dont know the rotweiller caracter, so I would back off in front of one that size, and my knees would start to shake by themself: but I am familiar with german sheffards,from a lifetime of having some who where giants of their breeds,I can say for 3 of them, big and beautifull and loveble; which broke my hearth, when I had to have them uthanised at the end of their life. bye
SKOOKUM: me again,I dont want to crowd your post with my comments; but i was thinking, you should write a story with the GULF oilspill, take some notes of the brights posters and commenters ; and be the first one to offer your book to public: I just thought of that, and I came right away to tell . bye 🙄
Don’t sell yourself short as a writer Skookum. Your posts, especially the ones involving stories are always must reads!
Keep on firing away!
Skooks and bees- Kanoo is the joy of my life for the last 5 years. He learnt to sing(howl) when I was monkeying around on youtube, doing parodies on Florence Jenkins- the worst opera singer for all time.
Kanoo’s sire is Prince Goliath von Hayden(imported from Germany) and Livy Where Grace Abounds( daughter of an import and city champ for 2 years). His motor is constant and will do anything for breaded liver treats. He did an awesome trial for schutzhund and has the right idea herding cattle. He’s my shadow and will not be diverted easily.
I saw some females herding chickens on youtube. My next pup(s) will be females. Eulenspiegal? Money and time. Gotta work this with Kanoo’s breeder.
Thanks, Brother Bob, for the kind words. It means a lot, I try to get the words right and have given up on many stories, a few kind words can provide a lot of incentive.
oil guy fom ALBERTA: hi, MAKE SURE of having the female with the blood line far away separated from your male; so they could breed together without any faulty genes sniking in. bye 🙄
Ms Bees, if you have the ammo, let it fly. Perforating the horizon with free ammo can relieve tensions.
Congratulations, you have learned to keep a sentence aloft with punctuation: Hemingway and a few others would show off once in a while by making a sentence stretch the length of a page. You amaze me, I went to University to halfway learn this stuff and you pick it up in a second language while pecking at a computer. Outstanding. (Old Marine phrase for great work)
Oil Guy: I love to hear about people and their pets, especially dogs. People think my first love is the horse, because of the way they respond to me; but the truth is, after working on over 100,000 horses, I should have been a dog man.
I need a job for my pet and I don’t want him herding stock, they (the Catahoula) can become preoccupied with working stock and pester the horses out of boredom and that can cause problems. Like your dog, he is my shadow and I end up tripping over him several times a day.
Although, I am a stout man and a former martial artist who loved the fights and competition, he feels he needs to protect me. I think a person would need to be on crack to wander on to this farm unannounced; especially, since the eight year old pit bull that is my other dog has the same attitude.
My dogs are a great source of amusement and affection for me and I feel blessed to have owned and loved so many good dogs in my lifetime. I think all people who love dogs have similar feelings.
You folks gotta get on youtube to view Florence Jenkins in ” In Her Own World”. She murders Bach, Mozart, and Strauss. I remember ” Der Flatter Mouse” especially. Yes, i know, most of her notes are promissary!
SKOOKUM: hi, ARE you still dancing on the AURORA BOREAL from the top of the world,
LOOKING down at us, like a giant, who want to walk but afraid to step on a bunch of humans?
WHEN is your time du for your glass of CABERNET and a keeboard to receive your new creative story, that , we are patiently and impatiently, waiting for, here at FA? we are trying to watch your every move, even if you are trying to evade us. bye 🙄
Angry Birds, thank you for the kind words. I am no expert; I just enjoy the website and my cyber friends. May I suggest, Castle On the Peace, When Fear Takes Control, The Damn Liquor Store, Unintended Consequences Can Bite You In The Arse, A Matter of Honor, Frenchy’s mail Order Bride, and My Introduction To Wealth Redistribution.
SKOOKUM
YOUR JUNE TO SEPTEMBER 2010 WAS SO NICE TO READ,
THOSE WHERE THE DAYS OF A BIG ERROR OF JUDGEMENT
WHICH HAS BEEN DONE TO AMERICA
what happen since then, today SEPTEMBER but this one is in 2012
and bloody, 9/11 DAY AGAIN, I took your advice and have been working to save AMERICA,
ALL THIS TIME, AND WAITING IF THE AMERICANS HAVE LISTENED TO LITTLE ME WORKING HARD TO EXPRESS MY OPINION AND TRYING HARD TO LEARN MORE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE TO COMMUNICATE BETTER.
I WAS LISTENING TO THE GOD SAVE AMERICA BY THE MORMONS TABERNACLE CHOIR OF SO MANY,
IT’S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, SANG BY SO MANY MEN AND WOMAN AS ONE, WITH A UNIQUE SHOW OF DEDICATION TO AMERICA, AND A DISCIPLINE DEMONSTRATING ABILITY OF SELF RESTRAINT,
YES MITT ROMNEY WILL BE WORTHY OF SERVING THIS GREAT NATION WHERE THE GIANTS BRAVES MUST COME BACK SOON TO RAISE THEIR FAMILY, AND REPRODUCE
TO TRANSFER THEIR HIGH QUALITY TO ANOTHER GENERATION OF SAME COURAGE IMPLANTED SINCE THE FRAMER DESIGN THE CONSTITUTION FOR THIS AMERICA TO OBEY AND PRESERVE THE FREEDOM BOUGHT WITH BLOOD AND PAIN OF THE BRAVES, FROM THE BEGINNING, THEY CAME FROM MANY COUNTRIES TO STRENGTHEN THE TIES AND WORKED SO HARD TO GIVE SO MUCH TO THE OTHER GENERATIONS, AND TIME WENT ON GOOD TIMES AND HARD TIMES TOO BUT THEY ENDURE AND EARNED THEIR GOOD TIMES EXPANSIVE LY,
TODAY SOME HAVE BEEN CONFUSED BY A WRONG LEADERSHIP SELFISH AND HATEFUL ENOUGH TO SEPARATE THE PEOPLE IN SMALL GROUPS INCITING THEM ON THE OTHER, EACH BY THEIR MEANS OR COLORS OR WEALTH OR FRIEND OR FOE TOWARD THEMSELVES, SEPARATE THE POLITICIAN AND FOLLOWERS TO A DEGREE WHERE PEOPLE HATE EACH OTHER OR DISTRUST THE LEADERS BECAUSE THEY WHERE LIED TO
WITH AN ARROGANCE NEVER BEEN SHOWN IN THIS NATION OF GOOD WILLING PEOPLE
AND SO TOLERANT AND COMPASSIONATE THEY HAVE FORGOTTEN THEIR OWN SURVIVAL NEEDS,
BECAUSE OF THE INVASION OF FOREIGNERS BY INFILTRATION FROM OPEN BORDERS,
WHO NOW HAS BECOME EXTREME AS TO HURT THE ROOTS OF AMERICA,
NOVEMBER IS SOON AND THE AMERICANS MUST MAKE THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISION IN THE HISTORY OF THESES UNITED STATES, HOPE THEY VOTE FOR THEIR FREEDOM AND AMERICA TO BE RECONNECT WITH HER CONSTITUTION BELOVED AND OBEYED BY THE MAJORITY IN THESE CENTURIES, WHICH NEVER LET THE PEOPLE DOWN AND NEVER LIED,