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What would the world look like if we were all liberals?

I got to thinking the other day- what if we were all liberals? What would the world look like? Before you get riled up, read on.

What if all men were Bill Clinton?

We could talk up women’s rights but in real life take advantage of young women, be sexual predators and serial harassers.

What if we were all Nancy Pelosi?

We could claim to support unions but we would use non-union labor. We could use our positions in government to help boost our net worths by 62% in the middle of a recession.

What if we all Tom Steyer?

We could claim to be all for green causes but make a billion dollars on coal.

What if we were all Al Gore?

We could sell books and make vast fortunes shrieking about global warming while we used ten times the electricity of normal people in our mansions and we could spew tons of pollutants into the atmosphere flying on private jets instead of flying commercial. And we could buy make believe idiocies such as “offsets.”

What if we were all Barack Obama?

We could claim to support equal pay but in real life not pay women the same as we paid men. We could lie to everyone all the time while asserting that we are paragons of virtue. We could lament “dysfunction” in government and wealth inequality while charging $64,000 per couple for a “VIP Clutch” and mingling with the top 0.01% of wealth in the country in Hollywood, the bastion of reality. We could lament dysfunction while being the cause of it. We could make statements that all had expiration dates.

What if we were all Rosie O’Donnell?

We could assert that we opposed guns while we all owned them.

What if we were all Piers Morgan?

We could rant about AR 15s and call people stupid for owning them while our security teams were armed with them.

What if we were all Harry Reid?

We could miraculously become millionaires on a $174,000 salary and whine about big money in politics unless it was money from our billionaires.

What if we all emulated Warren Buffett?

We could say that we should pay more in taxes but never do it.

What if were all liberal women?

We could make phony noises about a Republican war on women but we could also label women “trailer park trash” and “bimbos” and blame young female interns for older men’s indiscretions.

What if we were all Kennedy’s?

We could leave women to drown in a waterway at night, escape culpability and then go on to be lionized in the Senate as force for women’s rights.

What if we were all Al Sharpton?

We could whine about not sharing in prosperity while failing to pay the taxes we owe.

What would the world look like if we were all liberals?

If we were all liberals, women would not receive equal pay for equal work, we would all own guns (AR 15s!), we could lie endlessly, we could make statements which we really didn’t mean, we could amass fortunes in public office, we could suck as much energy as humanly possible, we could pollute freely, we could profit from coal, we could avoid paying more in taxes, we could drown women, we could take advantage of vulnerable young people and freely sexually harass and abuse “bimbos” all while believing we’re better than everyone else.

That’s what the world would look like if we were all liberals.

It ain’t pretty.

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