Biggest Question of 2008 Election: Will Chris Matthews Cry Like A Little Girl

On Tuesday night whether Senator Obama wins, or Sen McCain wins, or no one clearly wins one thing is almost certain: Chris Matthews will surely cry. In the event of an Obama victory, Americans can easily expect the puny pundit to leave his set and sniffle away like he did after Senator Obama’s nomination acceptance speech. Given that he’s 100% in the tank for Senator Obama it’s not unreasonable to see him wailing, “I’m so happy. This is just a great day for America. BWAAAAAAAAA!” Conversely, if Senator McCain wins you can bet that thrill that goes up Matthews’ leg whenever he hears Senator Obama speak will turn to a warm and wet sensation running down his leg followed by perhaps fist pounding denial. He might even break into some slurred speech; sounds more like a raving Don Vito from Viva La Bam than someone who is supposed to be covering the election as a news item. Lastly, in the event that no clear winner is decided Tuesday Night is there anyone out there who doesn’t think that by 1 or 2 am when it’s still anyone’s game…Matthews will crack? Will he stand up (revealing the floral pattern Hawaiian short pants he wears under the desk), throw his talking point notes high into the air, begin speaking in tongues, and cry when his head spins around ala The Exorcist?

Now, this is post is not aimed at Chris Matthews alone. Rather, the expectations of a future Matthews montage showing his schoolgirl love for Sen. Obama is used only as a metaphor for MSNBC, the traditional media at large, and half of the American people. They are all goo-goo ga-ga over the idea of electing a man President despite their inability to name anything the man has ever done that was noteworthy; worthy of the office. The web is rife with videos of Sen Obama and his wife and other Democratic Party leaders all saying that he is not ready to be President. His own running mate, Joe Biden, said that he’s not ready. Meanwhile…the lovefest continues unabated-distracted for a while by the story of Governor Sarah Palin, but unabated. Love and adoration of Senator Obama continues under the newspeak propaganda terms of CHANGE and HOPE.

What will really happen if Senator Obama is elected President? What will CHANGE? Will he turn the flag to a red hammer and sickle? Will he order an immediate evacuation of American forces from Iraq? Will he send more troops to Afghanistan (perhaps the biggest sarcasm in this entire piece since he runs the Senate committee on Afghanistand, but he has never held a single hearing on it. He’s been too busy running for President)? Will a President Obama make every poor person middle class, and give every middle class family the sun, the moon, and the stars for free? Will global warming turn to cotton candy clouds over babbling brooks of chocolate surrounded by groves of gumdrop trees? Or will he do nothing as President just as he did nothing in the Senate and did nothing in the Illinois Senate?

History shows that Senator Barack Obama is an incredibly charismatic man, but he has never led, and thus even if elected President will not lead. Almost half of America will vote for him, but they do not follow his lead when he calls for national unity and bi-partisanship (confirm this by reading the partisan hate at Daily Kos, Huffington Post, or Democratic Underground!). When he won the nomination he had the choice to unite his party (which was evenly divided between himself and Sen Clinton), and instead of choosing to do the hard thing-have Sen Clinton be his Vice President and try to work with her-he chose to blow off the chance for party unity. He’s promised a new kind of politics, a spirit of bi-partisanship, and instead he has led half of America into a frenzy that (should he lose) has police forces around the nation on alert for riots. He’s promised to CHANGE America rather than go to Washington and change DC so that it represents America.

Just a few more hours until a man who has cast barely 100 y/n votes in his entire career could be elected President. After that, we can expect Chris Matthews weep as though the Red Sea were parted. We can expect Keith Olberman’s head to explode, and then…when the shock and awe of the election and 2 yr long campaign has had enough post mortem, then and only then will people who expected everything realize that they voted for an empty suit and a do-nothing Congress. It might take until January, but a mass media that doesn’t have George Bush to bash, doesn’t have an Iraq War to oppose, and doesn’t have election coverage from two dozen candidates to fill their 24hr coverage…that mass media will look to the Democrats and President Obama. They’ll look, and wait, and they’ll wonder, “Well? When are you going to do some of the things you promised?”

The Democrats’ Congress did nothing for the past 2yrs, and even with unchecked power might well not be able to do anything for two more given their lack of political courage, their fear of losing power, and their own divisiveness.

Senator Obama has never had a national accomplishment to boast about, so why should he suddenly start making decisions between worse and worst? In the past he’s chosen to vote, “PRESENT” rather than make a decision. There is no EASY Button in the Oval Office. Why should the man’s mettle change? Why should he start making decisions that can lead to the life or death of billions of people suddenly make a hard decision with a history of avoiding even the simplest?

Why should anyone vote FOR Senator Obama or a Democrat running for Congress given the track record of deceit, denial, deception, division, and distraction? Without Bush, the war in Iraq, or the election those masks will be lifted, and political realities of America and the world will finally have to be faced. If that doesn’t make Matthews cry, nothing will, but when the tears are wiped away, and all the high expectations are crushed by a continuing history of doing nothing…those tears will turn to something else.

Democrats want the White House, the House of Representatives, a 2/3 majority in the Senate, and a majority on the Supreme Court. They want unchecked power, but they should be careful what they wish for because with unchecked power comes the two things that the Democratic Party-and in particular Senator Obama-fear and avoid the most: accountability, and responsibility for their actions and inactions.

Break out the Kleenex