Hillary Clinton Is So Confident Biden Will Win The First Debate This Week That She’s Urging Voters Not To Watch

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by EDDIE SCARRY

After patting herself on the back at length for allegedly co-producing a musical about women voting — gag — Hillary Clinton finally got to the real reason she was once again disturbing America’s inner peace: She wanted to tell everyone how they don’t really need to watch the debate Thursday between President Biden and the man she lost to eight years ago.

In a wince-inducing op-ed for The New York Times this week, Clinton declared herself singularly knowledgeable about how the face-off between Biden and former President Trump should go. “I am the only person to have debated both men (Mr. Trump in 2016 and, in the 2008 Democratic presidential primary race, Mr. Biden),” she wrote. “I know the excruciating pressure of walking onto that stage and that it is nearly impossible to focus on substance when Mr. Trump is involved.”

She went on to inadvertently humiliate herself, writing of Trump, “It’s nearly impossible to identify what his arguments even are;” “He starts with nonsense and then digresses into blather;” and, “[e]xpectations for him are so low that if he doesn’t literally light himself on fire on Thursday evening, some will say he was downright presidential.” Again, this is the person Clinton lost to, against all odds, with all of the media, all of Hollywood, and all of Washington at her back. If Trump is really so incoherent, the op-ed should have been headlined, “He is the stupidest person on earth and he kicked my a–.”

In any event, the thrust of Clinton’s argument was that if voters pay attention to the “substance” of the debate, they will inevitably conclude that Biden won, even before the event has taken place. “This election is between a convicted criminal out for revenge and a president who delivers results for the American people,” she wrote. “No matter what happens in the debate, that’s an easy choice.”

This is another way of saying there’s no need to watch the debate; don’t.

Hmm… Now why might one of the most prominent names in Democrat politics tell voters to skip what will likely be just one of two times that the major party candidates for president directly face one another? It’s a mystery.

Kidding. It’s because Clinton herself performed terribly against Trump and there’s a significant risk that Biden is about to do the same — not just including but perhaps especially on substance.

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