Murky Mr. Magoo: Biden’s Debate Blunder Has Democrats in a Panic

Joe Biden’s halting debate performance against President Trump last night was a shock and a surprise to a large number of ordinary Americans who just woke up from a coma. As for we unlucky non-coma victims, who’ve had to sit through the entire show, we knew this day was coming sooner or later. NBC ran its version of the Titanic-sized disaster story under the bizarre —but truthful— headline, “‘Babbling’ and ‘hoarse’: Biden’s debate performance sends Democrats into a panic.” Instead of delivering Dark Brandon, the Democrats served up Murky Mr. Magoo.

 
Haha! But don’t get the wrong idea. The debate was a four-alarm fire for democrats, but NBC rolled out the trucks and ladders, with the damage control starting right from the minimizing subheadline, which suggested the former Vice President only had a sore throat: “The president often had a weak, raspy voice during his first debate against Trump in what Democrats had hoped would be a turning point in the race.”

Tragically for the Biden Campaign, the rush of events forced them to commit to a weak, early excuse: Biden had a cold. I was sick and couldn’t turn in my homework!

For a time, they tried to hold the line of criticism, but as you will see the fire rapidly burned out of control. Right after the debate, only 33% of CNN’s cherry-picked debate watchers thought Biden won the debate, his lowest score to date:

 
They’re going to need a better narrative. NBC reported that, back when they thought Dark Brandon was showing up, “the Biden campaign acknowledged that the debate would be a critical moment in the election, with officials hoping it could shake up the race to his benefit.”

More 2024 records were set yesterday. Yesterday’s was the earliest Presidential debate in history. It was the first in history scheduled before either man has been officially nominated as the candidate of their political party. So, technically, it wasn’t even a presidential debate. And it was the first without a live debate audience. And, of course, it was the first time ever that a sitting President debated the immediately preceding President.

If there was one gaffe that defined the entire sordid show, it was when, at one point, Biden erratically and inexplicably claimed, “We finally beat Medicare.” I am not making that up. I’ve searched everywhere and nobody seems to know what he meant. But Biden’s mysterious anti-Medicare boast capped off a long, crepusclar ramble that was arguably even more senseless, and which truly must be seen and heard to be believed (CLIP 1-funny, CLIP 2-straight). Here’s how NBC described it:

 
Here’s a transcript of the tail end of the Leader of the Free World desperately searching for his lost train of thought:

JOE BIDEN: “Making sure that we’re able to make every single solitary person, eh, uh, eligible … for what I’ve been able to do with, the uh, covid, excuse me, with umm dealing with everything we had to deal with. Uh. Look, if … we finally beat Medicare!”

JAKE TAPPER: “Thank you, President Biden.” (quickly cuts mike).

Charitably, maybe Biden got confused about which one was the virus and which one was the vast, socialized healthcare bureaucracy. But I’m only guessing. Somewhere, out in space, far beyond the Galactic core, puzzled aliens are setting up whole new institutes to ponder the deep meaning behind Joe’s enigmatic profundities.

Nearly as bad was Joe’s pitiful effort to explain the Supreme Court’s ruling in Roe v. Wade. At least, I think that was what he was trying to do. Scientists have determined that, at our present level of knowledge, it’s impossible to say for sure:

 
Shortly thereafter, Biden soberly informed CNN’s cameras and the free world that many women “raped by their sisters” need abortions.

You can imagine the Schaudenfraudey field day conservatives are enjoying, taking well-deserved victory laps, making “cheap fake” memes, and posting mean tweets, which all sort of miss the bigger point that this stuttering relic has his shaky finger resting on the nuclear button, and we aren’t sure whether he knows it’s not a buzzer for more ice cream. But nevermind that for now.

Let’s see how democrats responded to Murky Magoo.

Behold this remarkable New York Times op-ed roundup that corralled no fewer than a dozen appalled liberal pundits:

 
They pulled that blasphemous headline quote out of Michelle Goldberg’s hot take, in which she pulled Biden’s plug. At least, that’s how she felt last night:

 
In his post-debate, full-length op-ed, regular Times contributor Thomas Friedman joined Goldberg’s call for making Biden an ex-candidate:

 
Biden’s performance deeply moved Thomas Friedman, just not in a good way. Tom made the unmanly admission that the debate broke his leathery heart and made him cry:

 
After watching Biden’s latest “cheap fake” performance for himself, hard-left liberal Friedman sadly said he was no longer giving Biden the benefit of any doubt:

 
There was much more. The New York Times was packed to the gills with op-eds penned by a synchronized flock of whiny liberals who are all chirping for Biden’s withdrawal from the race:

 
In his own separate full-length piece, NYT Deputy Opinion Editor Pat Healy glumly admitted Biden’s awful performance was another 2024-style, record-shattering bit of history-making. Just not the good kind:

 
Healy saw what we all saw: a sad, drooling, demented octogenarian who obviously isn’t up to the job, and who is rapidly degenerating from bad to worse:

 
In the first couple of hours following last night’s performance, they tried to cover for Biden, but it was so bad they couldn’t explain it away. Corporate media offered two excuses: Biden had a cold and Trump lied worse than Pinnochio. So.

But in fact-checking President Trump, CNN also had to fact-check Biden, and nearly everything the purported President said was either inaccurate or downright wrong:

 
CLIP: CNN fact checks Joe Biden debate claims (0:49).

Democrats are panicing. Last night, CNN’s Chief National Correspondent John King said some prominent Democrats were already planning a trip to the White House to ask Biden to step down, and others were already publicly calling for him to drop out:

 
CLIP: top CNN anchor reports Dems pulling the eject lever on Biden (0:54).

Even though the debate didn’t finish until late last night, the demands for a replacement Democrat candidate began flooding in faster than a totally-normal, post-Derecho ‘weather event’ in Ohio. Corporate media immediately published more op-eds by bleary-eyed pundits calling for oleaginous Gavin Newsom to step in.

 
It’s almost like they planned it this way. For some poorly-explained reason, last night California Governor and lockdown lunatic Gavin Newsom was in Atlanta, at the debate. Standing by, so to speak.

Though he disclaimed any interest in running, why would he?, it hasn’t stopped democrat demands. Here’s an example headline, this one from Bloomberg run early this morning (6:00am):

 
Or, this straight-news headline, from Business Insider (5:20am):

 
There were lots more. At this point, I suppose I should say that Californians are less impressed with their Governor than desperate national democrats. For instance, the LA Times ran this startling op-ed headline yesterday: “Things are not OK in California. Newsom’s State of the State was delusional.” The author of the LA Times’ op-ed seemed less impressed with Gavin’s qualifications:

 
Just now, we are still soaking in the ‘hot takes hot tub,’ recuperating in the aftermath of that toxic political train wreck. And I haven’t even begun to tote up the reactions from the rest of the world, including our allies who aren’t sold-out partisans and already have a skeptical eye about Joe. But here’s a taste, headline from Politico this morning:

 
Soon, after the dust settles, even more difficult questions will emerge. Consider the 25th Amendment. So stay tuned.

Originally posted on Coffee & Covid 2024