The latest intra-pundit flap of Campaign 2012: a couple of my liberal colleagues have called Rick and Karen Santorum “crazy,” or “very weird” for wrapping and caressing the body of their baby, who died only two hours after emerging from 20 weeks in utero — and taking it home for their children to see. These opinions provoked a conservative backlash. (One liberal laterapologized.)
Maybe it’s not too late for a teachable moment about neonatal death and stillbirth — and the special grief that these not-uncommon, but obviously insufficiently understood, tragedies inflict upon parents.
Nine years ago, my son Jonathan’s heart mysteriously stopped in utero— two hours prior to a scheduled c-section that would have brought him out after 33 weeks. Next came hours of induced labor so that my wife could produce a lifeless child. I cannot describe the anxiety, emotional pain, and physical horror.
And then there was the question: what about the corpse? Fortunately for us, our hospital’s nurses were trained to deal with infant death. They washed the baby, wrapped him in a blanket and put a little cotton cap on his head, just as they would have done if he had been born alive. They then recommended that we spend as much time with him as we wanted.
My wife held Jonathan for a long while. I hesitated to do so. At the urging of the nurses and my wife, I summoned the courage to cradle Jonathan’s body, long enough to get a good look at his face and to muse how much he looked like his brother — then say goodbye. I am glad that my love for him overcame my fear of the dead.
I’m sorry about your Jonathan.
My husband and I also lost a son. He was also stillborn in the third trimester. And he was also named Jonathan. We had a nurse who had had a daughter die, so she understood. She wrapped our Jonathan in a newborn blanket and put a little premie cap on his head, and we held him, and unwrapped him, and looked at his tiny fingers and toes. And I thought how much he looked like my father. That was at 2 a.m. That evening, we brought our two young daughters back to the hospital so they could see Jonathan and–just as Rick Santorum said about their living children–know their baby brother was for real.
The Santorums’ behavior wasn’t weird. It’s only been very recently that death has become largely hospitalized and hidden. My grandfather was laid out in the front room when he died in 1936.
The pundits’ behavior was shameful, and culturally clueless. They would never have been so quick to criticize a death ritual in another culture. They would have tried to understand it, and see the value in it. Too bad they couldn’t extend the same courtesy to a fellow countryman.
Published in the original source:
Again I say (perhaps not on this blog), if the Obama’s daughter died, and they took the body home, and sat it in a chair at the dinner table, the Republican negative comments would be endless.
“Again I say….” speculative, unconsidered and unnecessary.
Liberal1, maybe so. And if the President appeared at a state dinner dressed in Saran Wrap, there would probably be criticism as well. But neither my hypothetical nor yours is what the Santorums actually did, so why don’t we confine ourselves to the facts at hand? Giving your kids the only chance they’ll ever have to see their baby brother or sister is not crazy. It’s compassionate.
Curt, I see on a second read that your post was a repost of Charles Lane’s column. (I thought your post ended a little abruptly!)
We are sorry for both you and wife’s loss. Maybe, and its a small maybe at that. But if liberals really practiced what they preached so much about “celebrate life!” that they would understand why parents would do as you and your article described. Life is so damn fragile, and the fickle finger of fate is so unpredictable, and so meaningless most of the times that many of us can do only ask for acceptance, not answers. And can anyone really explain to someone why some parents, and other loved ones would do as Rick and his family did? All the missed opportunities, the hopes, the dreams, the experiences that the infant and they themselves will not have, the uniqueness of that one little child never to duplicated again? I am glad for parents like yourself, and the santorums can do as they did. And respect them all very much for that healthy tradition that truly value life.
FYI, this is a most wanted post which links to interesting articles around the web. This wasn’t written by me but by a WaPo writer. Click the read more link.
Advocates for ”abortion on demand,” must of necessity re-define in their own minds the idea of what an unborn baby is.
When they claim it is only a blob of cells or only a mass of cells and unworthy of burial or mourning or even a 2nd thought, they cannot imagine how this callousing of their own conscience might affect them in other, related areas.
Well, now we see.
We’ve seen at least a couple of major leftist pundits calling the reaction of many people toward their loss of a baby at birth ”weird.”
One (Alan Colmes) made a tweeted apology.
I wonder if Alan tore off the callous around his heart or if he only went through the motions to keep his paying job.
Try to remember that Colmes and Robinson do not represent all liberals on this issue. These guys are simply horses asses.
I disagree with lots of liberals and they are respectful. These two guys ate out of touch. Don’t judge every liberal by the behavior of these.
I mourn for the loss of any child. I mourn for the families of these children. So do many liberals.
Colmes has already apologized via Twitter.
Now Robinson is trying to walk back his remark.
Here’s how he put it:
VIDEO and Read more: http://newsbusters.org/blogs/jack-coleman/2012/01/09/eugene-robinson-grudgingly-laments-his-glib-dismissal-santorums-respon#ixzz1j03diZi9