From the Basement to the White House: Times Reporter Uncovers Biden’s Secret


by Jeff Childers

The Great Democrat Party Train Wreck of 2024 continued piling up yesterday, as the New York Times breathlessly ran its crack investigative story headlined,  “Parkinson’s Expert Visited the White House Eight Times in Eight Months.” The Times leaned on its lone remaining investigative reporter who, after a desperate search, panicking editors finally found chained up in a sub-basement server closet in a Times storage facility in Camden, New Jersey.

Editors quickly force-fed the dusty reporter a high-calorie meal consisting of a Starbucks “coffee” milkshake. Once he was revived and came to his senses, the antique reporter began organizing teams of flabby laptop “journalists” and teaching them how to investigate Mr. Biden’s mental condition. They worked around the clock! Genius and diligence finally paid off, as it usually does. Displaying the kind of creative thinking, grit, and elbow grease on which the Times built its reputation, the squads of information diggers attacked the problem head on, and heroically checked the public White House visitor’s log.

They showed the logs to the guy from the basement in Camden, since all current-era reporters become suddenly stricken with snow blindness if they accidentally see the White House visitor logs. What does it say?, they asked. Blinking owl-like in the unfamiliar light, the ancient investigative reporter pointed to several lines on the logs. To the amazement of the Times’ journalism team, he managed to say, “see? Biden probably has Parkinson’s.”

The Times’ regular reporters cannot look directly at the logs. It hurts too much. So the journalists quickly grabbed a mirror, and saw in its reflection the thing they had missed for Biden’s entire term. Eureka! Then they locked the old guy back in the basement.

Having discovered that a top Parkinson’s expert had visited the White House once a month for at least the last eight months, the Times’ exhausted reporting team lay down to recover and feebly slurp some more milkshakes. Here’s what they found:

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Whew! Good thing we have the Times, or nobody would have ever known. By “nobody,” I mean no corporate media reporter would have known, of course, since until last week they’d always fussily ignored plain evidence of Biden’s incomprehensive utterings, mumbling, and mental dissolution. Only conspiracy theorists would have known about Biden’s Parkinson’s expert and his monthly appointment.

To be fair, the White House has officially denied everything, sort of, asking “who knows who the Parkinson’s expert was visiting?” It could be the guy who left the cocaine in the library, or anyone, really. It’s a mystery for the ages, and there is simply no way to tell. The cameras were off and the guards were sleeping. Maybe he was just looking around like a J6 tourist?

But yesterday was a different kind of day. The hounds of media war had slipped their leashes at yesterday’s daily White House press conference. Unfortunate diversity hire Karine Von Claude (or whatever her name is) finally, for the first time in her short career, met the press, and the clip is video gold:

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CLIP: Three minutes of glory while KJP finally gets the Trump Treatment (3:35).

“Doctor” Jill Biden also met her very first tough question yesterday, which she adroitly handled by deflecting and leaping into a black Suburban.

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CLIP: Jill Biden also meets the press (0:30).

Next, you heard it in C&C first. Yesterday, Business Insider ran this prophetic headline:

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It’s war! Team Biden tripled down yesterday, publicly releasing a dense, two-page, well-written, single-spaced letter to Democrats from Joe Biden* that, boiled down, said “get lost. I’m not going anywhere.” (* haha, nobody believes Joe wrote it, be serious.) Joe’s letter dumped the Democrats into a sweet pickle relish. They now must decide whether to rise the white flag, and try to pull back the tattered curtains of cognitive secrecy, or else declare all-out war against the White House.

Surrender seems likely. Late yesterday, some media started getting wobbly, like CNN, which ran this story early this morning:

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Biden is scheduled to give “opening remarks” at the NATO Conference this morning, and has widely advertised an “unscripted,” no-holds-barred press conference on Thursday. So what CNN was really saying was that Biden can rehabilitate his presidential reputation, by showing up strong this week at NATO, which could give Democrats cover to claim Joe bested “the test” by (1) leading the Democrat party (through his defiant letter) and (2) leading the free world at the NATO conference.

Anguished anti-Turnip Democrats must now decide: make peace or make war. Not about the wars with Iran, China, Ukraine or Russia, haha, don’t be silly. But about the civil war inside the Democrat party. And neither option currently looks very good.

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White House Confirms that Joe Biden Does Not Have Parkinson’s Disease – Old Joe’s Decline Appears to Be Late Stage Dementia

biden poses an existential threat to the security and safety of our country. Who is in charge from 4pm until 10am?

biden has Lewy Body Dementia.

“That’s How They Get an Incapacitated Moron like Joe Biden Elected” — Trump Calls on GOP Lawyers to Sue to Stop Illegals from Voting and Democrats From Cheating in Another Presidential Election

Regardless, time to put politics aside and focus on what is best for our country. Right biden does not demonstrate he has the capabilities to execute the office he is usurping. That puts the nation and the world at grave risk. democrats clearly do not have the best interests in mind regarding America or they would do the honorable thing.

So, even if Robin Ware/Robert L. Peters/JRB Ware/Pedo Peter/idiot Biden doesn’t have Parkinson’s, he looks enough like he DOES for this doctor to keep paying regular visits to the White House.

So… Dr. Jill AND Hunter.