Begun, The Sidewalk Chalk Wars Have

I’ve never been one to broadcast my politics outside of people who know me. OK, you could argue that when I was still on Facebook I’d broadcast with extreme prejudice, but anyone reading wasn’t a total stranger. While my parents had bumper stickers for Reagan on their cars and the occasional yard sign, I’ve never wanted to do so. I own a few political shirts, but I use them mainly as undershirts or might wear them to a political themed event. Maybe it’s just been my experience from living in the DC area for so long, but I’ve noticed that people who wear political gear outside of such events tend to be (sphincter muscles). The background is important for context around my actions.

One day I had Doggie Bob and Puppy Bob (PB is actually 3 ½, but still thinks she’s a pup) on their morning walk, when I was crossing the pedestrian walkway over a highway near me, and I spotted another dog walker out with his pup at the other end writing something in chalk at the other end. When I finally reached there he was long gone but I saw what he had written – “Harris / Waltz”. On my way back I saw that he had done the same at both ends of the bridge. The next day we walked a different route (Doggie Bob has always liked variety in her walks, and after PB came along & absorbed most of the house’s energy and attention, letting DB dictate our route at least gives her control over one element in her life), and saw similar graffiti on the sidewalk not too far around the corner from Chateau D’ Bob.

I debated what to do, such as washing it off or having my pups engage in some natural but disgusting defacement. Just leaving it alone wasn’t an option. I don’t care how much signage you have on your own property, as I generally find them to be useful “I’m with Stupid” kind of signs. But I draw the line at defacing public property. Yes, chalking up a sidewalk is not the same as the domestic terrorists who’ve spent the last few years vandalizing statues and memorials with impunity. That said, if chalking becomes accepted then it can easily escalate to more permanent defacement. Thinking on the inspirational words of Eric Stratton and John Blutarsky, “This situation absolutely calls for a really futile and stupid gesture on somebody’s part. We’re just the guys to do it”, I knew what I had to do.

Finding a piece of sidewalk chalk in the toolshed, I put in in my pocket and took it on every walk until the dogs took us back to the scenes of the crimes. And I kept my response simple – I left each instance reading “Coupmala Harris / AWalz”. After our next visit I’d find my handiwork crossed out, and I would simply repeat my work. Rinse, lather repeat. Then things took a minor but excellent twist. On another longer walk in the opposite direction, I found some more “Harris / Walz” chalking, and bearing my improvements. Only I wasn’t the one who did these – somewhere along the way somebody had come across my handiwork, and felt inspired to add our personal touch further up the block.

Later trips found chalk on telephone poles, which got the same treatment, and back on the original battlefield I’d really gotten under the skin of the instigator – above my markup was new chalking, “IDIOT MAGA CAN’T SPELL”, which just led me to drop another “Coupmala” next to it. The campaign continued to get better – subsequent walks on the further battlefields found the sidewalks and telephone poles had been cleaned of all chalk. The nearer sidewalk chalkings were still getting crossed out, but their original text wasn’t getting reinforced. The first light rain mostly closed out that front.

As for the bridge, my nemesis only got angrier, crossing out my work, adding more chalkings for just Harris or Walz, and even a few IDIOT MAGA scribbles. To them I’d just add an LOL or a few times I’d cross out the MAGA and add my own verbiage to have it read IDIOT BIDEN* LOL.

At this point, a few days of solid rain have obliterated nearly all of our work, save for the very faded original. In addition to not ceding any ground to The Radical Left, I also made a public mark to fellow Normals that they’re not alone. For that matter, for the first time in my life there is a campaign sign for a local Republican in my front yard.

I’ll also be doing another first time activity – I’ll be volunteering on election day, in my case as a poll greeter at our local school. I’ll be seeing a lot of faces I’ve seen at school events for Little Bob over the years. Some will be friendly, some will be hostile, and others won’t care either way. But I want to provide more encouragement for any other quiet Normals out there, and as for ones who will go crazy like what happened here,

I’d rather flush them out in the light of day as opposed to when there’s a cross burning on my front lawn.

All of that said, I think I can call this guerilla campaign a total success. I inspired others to follow my lead, and discouraged Lefties from trying to take over public spaces that belong to everyone, Normals included. Some went away quietly, others in a rage. I’d like to close by saying I was like Gunnery Sgt. Highway in Heartbreak Ridge when Clint Eastwood snarled at his subpar Recon platoon, “It’s your will against mine and you will lose!”

But I think a more honest assessment would be along the lines of, “I can stay stupid longer than you can stay angry.”

Brother Bob is no longer on Facebook (although you can see his archives there), and is back on Twitter again, but is ramping up on Minds and Gab, and has his biggest presence on MeWe

*Note – I’m getting used to new WordPress settings – please forgive the sloppy page

Brother Bob

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