According to uninformed sources in low positions, the arranged “marriage” between sleepy Joe Biden and Kamala Harris may be coming to an abrupt end. Apparently, the honeymoon is over.
Fox News congressional correspondent Chad Pergram revealed on Tuesday that he received a “cryptic email” from a well-connected Washington DC, insider advising him to learn about the process for replacing a United States vice president.
Option A: Biden steps down and hands Kamala the keys to the Oval Office and Air Force One
Option B: Biden replaces Kamala and dissolves the marriage because Jill Biden never liked her anyway
Monty, I’m going with Option B. This isn’t rocket science: the entire country can hear the beep, beep, beep of Two Men and a Truck backing up to Number One Observatory Circle.
Look, this breakup shouldn’t surprise anyone. I remember crying at their wedding in 2021 and I told my wife, “This marriage was a terrible mistake for our country. I give them ten months-tops.” Even their kid, Peppermint Patty can hear them bickering daily in their home which she calls Dysfunction Junction. I can imagine Joe screaming that Kamala is an albatross around his neck, has the laugh of a sick hyena, and can’t solve something as simple as the invasion of the southern border. Joe probably yelled, “Nobody likes you including me. Just go to France or Vietnam or the Supreme Court-anywhere but here!”
Kamala is definately not a wilting lily and I assume that she responded in kind. “Thanks Joe for inviting 1.7 million unvetted aliens to invade our country. Your cluster f–k retreat from Afghanistan and leaving Americans behind in the clutches of the Taliban was a special kind of stupid. Also, thanks to your incompetence, gas prices at the pump are going through the roof. Wait until the country finds out that you’re “selling massive amounts of SPR oil to Asia.”
Yeah, you didn’t think I would find out that your sold “1.6 million barrels of crude from the US Strategic Petroleum Reserve in October? Ringing any bells Joe? Not one, not two, but three supertankers sailed to Asia with our oil. Winter is coming-explain that to your constituents! Then you have the audacity to order me to clean up your messes. Oh, you’re really a “great” president: you’re now polling at a whopping 36% approval rate. Even Obama said that you were going to screw things up. Joe, You haven’t been on the right side of a decision in decades! I’m not your lackey and I don’t appreciate getting thrown under the bus because of your moronic decisions! You are weak, feeble, cowardly and pathetically blame Donald Trump and women for all of your self inflicted failures. By the way, you never stood up for me like Pete Buttigieg and that dude who runs China-you know-your BFF. Whats up with that? You must like Xi Jinping more than Americans. Go live in China Joe! As she stomps our the door, Kamala yells over her shoulder. . . and nobody likes you either-LET’GO BRANDON!
So there you have it-irreconcilable differences. Joe will get to keep his three houses, especially the 2.7 million dollar beach house with the snazzy new $455,000 security wall and the moat with alligators. Kamala will get a really cool job somewhere over the horizon and an undisclosed boatload of cash NOT to write her memoirs. Kamala leaving the VP job is good for her and good for the country. Biden remaining as president is bad for the country and gives him 3 more years to wreak havoc and destroy America before people with brains take over the reins. (Yeah, I’m a poet and didn’t know it!)