Dec. 8, 2011
“Rod Blagojevich, former governor of Illinois, stood under some mistletoe earlier today and kissed 14 years goodbye.” –David Letterman
“Perry gave three reasons for declining the Iowa debate later this month. First, he needs to concentrate on campaigning. Second, there are already two other debates scheduled for that week. And he forgot the third one.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“While speaking to a prominent group of Jewish Republicans, Newt Gingrich promised to support Israel, not give in to the Palestinians, and even promised his next wife would be Jewish.” –Jay Leno
“I’m not sure Rick Perry got it. Like when they asked him what he’d do about the West Bank, he said he’d bring back free checking.” –Jay Leno
“According to CNBC, a number of Americans are moving overseas looking for job opportunities. Now people over there will know what it feels like to lose their American jobs to foreigners.” –Jay Leno
“According to a recent report by CBS sports, the average Major League baseball player now makes just over $3 million a year. Or as the Yankees like to call them, ‘the 99 percenters.'” –Jay Leno
Dec. 9, 2011“Newt has a holiday book out. ‘The Newt Before Christmas.'” –David Letterman
“Illinois is the only state where the present governor rides around in a car whose license plate was made by a previous governor.” –David Letterman
“You know the difference between God and Newt Gingrich? God doesn’t think he’s Newt Gingrich.” –Jay Leno
“A global study released just today found that happiness does not increase with the rate of economic growth. To which President Obama said, ‘See? That’s what I’ve been trying to tell people.'” –Jay Leno
Dec. 12, 2011
“Sometimes packages get lost in the mail. You’re expecting something wonderful, and you wait and wait and nothing comes. It’s like voting for Obama.” –Craig Ferguson
“It was so cold in Texas that death row inmates are cutting in line just to get the electric chair.” –Jay Leno
“Luckily, she got the purse back, but the $10,000 was missing. It turns out the guy who stole it needed the money to pay off a bet with Mitt Romney.” –Jay Leno
“Mitt Romney tried to make a $10,000 bet with Rick Perry during a presidential debate. Well, who says the Republicans are rich snobs out of touch with the common man?” –Jay Leno
“Many voters feel that Mitt Romney is out of touch with real Americans after he tried to make a bet with Rick Perry for $10,000. When asked to comment, Mitt said, ‘I’m sorry, but that’s all I had in my pocket at the time.'” –Conan O’Brien
“Ron Paul looks like one of your old relatives. The guy that keeps sending you the blank emails.” –David Letterman
Dec. 13, 2011
“Rick Perry said there were eight supreme court justices instead of nine. But, in his defense, he did know there were only three judges on ‘Dancing With the Stars.'” –Jay Leno
“Perry also said the Obama administration sent $500 million to the ‘country of Solyndra.’ If an energy company was a country, don’t you think we would’ve invaded it by now?” –Jay Leno
“Iran is now in possession of an American drone. When I heard that I thought, ‘Oh, my god, they captured Joe Biden?'” –Jay Leno
“Pope Benedict announced he’s going to visit Mexico sometime next year. He will bring with him a message of hope for all the Mexican people. And then he will come to Los Angeles and give the same message to even more Mexican people.” –Jay Leno
“An Alabama anti-gay politician has been leading a secret life as a sperm donor for lesbian couples. This is a classic case of the left hand not knowing what the right hand is doing. But he was making money hand over fist.” –Jay Leno
“Newt Gingrich released a statement promising he would not cheat on his wife. Even better, he said he wouldn’t cheat on his next wife either, or the one after that.” –Conan O’Brien
“Yesterday, someone threw a pair of shoes at Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Iran has captured the shoes and is studying their technology.” –Conan O’Brien
“Michele Bachmann is picking running mates. That’s like the Colts picking out Super Bowl rings.” –David Letterman
“Donald trump announced this morning that he will not serve as moderator at the GOP debate that was scheduled for Dec. 27. He said he had to cancel the debate because he may want to run as an independent candidate — and because only two of the GOP candidates decided to show up.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“This guy is something. He’s committed to the debate, he’s not committed; he’s running, he’s not running; he’s in, he’s out. What does he think this is, one of his marriages?” –Jimmy Kimmel
Dec. 14, 2011
“A campaign staffer on the Newt Gingrich campaign was fired because he was making negative comments about Mormons. I thought, ‘Wait a minute, isn’t Newt in favor of multiple wives?'” –David Letterman
“Mitt Romney has received criticism for using the campaign slogan “Keep America American” because that slogan was once used by the KKK. Now he is overcompensating because his new slogan is ‘Mitt Romney, Straight Out of Compton.'” –Conan O’Brien
“Rick Perry has made so many gaffes lately, it is hard to tell if he’s running against President Obama or Joe Biden.” –Jay Leno
“Ron Paul is in favor of letting states legalize marijuana, prostitution, and cocaine. So even if he doesn’t win, that’s going to be one heck of an election night party.” –Jay Leno
“Men are now going to their barber and asking for a Mitt. Then they go to the girl on the corner and ask for a Herman Cain.” –Jay Leno
“Gary Busey said it’s not that he doesn’t like Newt Gingrich, but it was too soon for him to endorse anyone. He said as soon as a president is elected, he will let us know who he intends to vote for.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“Some people say that Mitt Romney isn’t the most consistent candidate, because he’s changed his mind about big, important issues over the years. You know, that’s one of the things that I like about him, because he’s been consistent since he changed his mind.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“Christine O’Donnell, who used to be a witch, endorsed Mitt Romney, and she said, “He’s been consistent since he changed his mind.” Can’t argue with that.” –Jimmy Kimmel
A former fetus, the “wordsmith from nantucket” was born in Phoenix, Arizona in 1968. Adopted at birth, wordsmith grew up a military brat. He achieved his B.A. in English from the University of California, Los Angeles (graduating in the top 97% of his class), where he also competed rings for the UCLA mens gymnastics team. The events of 9/11 woke him from his political slumber and malaise. Currently a personal trainer and gymnastics coach.
The wordsmith has never been to Nantucket.
I kinda like that “Nerds 4 Newt” one, lol- Romney is surprisingly useful material for comedy
after all, who’da thunkit?
Enjoy your weekend, all
Reaganite’s Sunday Funnies
More toons:
http://www.therightreasons.net/index.php?/topic/36261-todays-toons-121411/
http://gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=63383.0
http://www.therightreasons.net/index.php?/topic/36298-todays-toons-121611/
Yet more toons:
http://www.therightreasons.net/index.php?/topic/36352-todays-toons-121911/
Even more toons:
http://gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=63602.0
Wordsmith
hi,
election is getting closer. those comedians are getting vicious
MERRY CHRISTMAS
pookie
very funny
MERRY CHRISTMAS
Glad you liked ’em & merry Christmas, ilovebeeswarzone!