The Tonight Show with Jay LenoEgypt’s President Mubarak said that he will stay on “until the current crisis is resolved.” He is the current crisis. That’s the whole problem.
We should have known that he wasn’t going to leave. It turns out Hosni Mubarak is an ancient Egyptian name that means “Brett Favre.”
Lindsay Lohan was in court and she wore a white mini dress. Lindsay claimed the white dress stood for “innocence” and “purity.” Unfortunately, her jewelry stood for “felony” and “larceny.”
If convicted, Lindsay could end up without a career or a job. You know where people like that usually wind up? “Dancing With the Stars.”
Conan
Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak said he will stay in power for six more months. That guy does not understand how Groundhog Day works.
Rep. Christopher Lee resigned after he was caught sending a shirtless photo of himself to a woman he met on Craigslist. On the bright side, he did manage to surprise his wife on Valentine’s Day.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
Despite massive protests, the Egyptian president still refuses to leave. They’re calling him “Leno of the Nile.”
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
The number of shark attacks around the world increased by 25 percent. With the economy like it is, more and more sharks are turning to crime.
A new report says that shark attacks could be reduced if people use simple common sense, such as never going in the ocean.
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
It’s time for New York Fashion Week. In fact, I was just talking to Rep. Lee, and he told me shirts are totally out this season.
Married Congressman Christopher Lee was looking for dates on Craigslist and describing himself as divorced. But in fairness, he’s about to be.
The New York Times says that cars will no longer come equipped with cassette players. That’s insane. It’s 2011 — people still read newspapers?
A high school student in Illinois was arrested for bringing pot brownies to school. And here’s the worst part: he didn’t even bring enough for everyone
A former fetus, the “wordsmith from nantucket” was born in Phoenix, Arizona in 1968. Adopted at birth, wordsmith grew up a military brat. He achieved his B.A. in English from the University of California, Los Angeles (graduating in the top 97% of his class), where he also competed rings for the UCLA mens gymnastics team. The events of 9/11 woke him from his political slumber and malaise. Currently a personal trainer and gymnastics coach.
The wordsmith has never been to Nantucket.
http://www.therightreasons.net/index.php?/topic/29393-todays-toons-2911/
http://gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=44277.0
http://www.therightreasons.net/index.php?/topic/29449-todays-toons-21111/
http://www.therightreasons.net/index.php?/topic/29540-todays-toons-21411/
http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=44556.0