Just have to blog a bit about the ongoing French series at Mike’s America. It’s good for some laugh’s, especially when the cowards (oops, meant the French) take offense.
First we have the opening salvo from Mike:
Let Them Eat Cake!
Oh la la! This story has been around for a while, but we at Mike’s America have had our hands full fending off the communist surrender monkeys…
The French, and assorted America haters have their berets in a knot over this promotion for a new Subway sandwich:
In response to the criticism, Subway has withdrawn the ad, giving France the only victory that sorry bunch of frogs has ever known.
Indignant frogophiles are still not satisfied, threatening to boycott Subway. I say: Let ’em eat cake! Or better yet, pass the snails!”
But then it gets better in the comments:
What a good example of the stupidity of some part of the american people.
Thanksfully, not everybody is like this.
Ju | Homepage | 10.11.05 – 7:04 am | #Thanks “JU” or let’s call you Froggy.
You people should be ashamed of yourselves for your ungrateful behavior and your utter lack of support of democracy and freedom initiatives which benefit YOU as much as D-Day did.
Maybe we should just have told Hitler, who never attacked us, that we just want PEACE! We’re against war!
It’s none of our business if Hitler wanted to rape France! After all, who are we to judge?
And now, in the present day, Froggies like you want to come and insult Americans?
I hope you some spare time after you finish sewing that white flag to begin work on your Burka.
And on behalf of the rest of Americans that you call “stupid:” GO FUCK YOURSELF!
Mike’s America | Homepage | 10.11.05 – 11:26 am | #So I should thank you for bombarding tousands of people in Normandie?
I should thank you for waiting 6 years until the III Reich was a threat for your commerce?
I should thank you for the huge investments (including some from W Bush grand father) in the III Reich?
I should thank you for the help provided to the german during the 30’s?
USA only attacked Hitler when he started being a threat to their monney.
USA only attacked Irak to get hold on the petrol and had no care of the threat it represented to anybody.
Irak was no threat and had no power as it has been proven.
Captain America, you should check your history…
marius | Homepage | 10.12.05 – 3:24 pm | #Right Marius… Iraq was not threat as you froggies were taking millions in bribes from funds that were meant to provide women and children with medicine.
As for thanking us for saving your sorry butts… Maybe your German language skills are better than your English… or How’s your Russian?
As far as us taking Iraqs oil? I’m still paying about $3 per gallon for gas froggie…
If that’s stealing… someone owes me a refund.
Talk about someone who needs a history lesson… FROGGY!
Mike’s America | Homepage | 10.12.05 – 10:46 pm | #
Now the comments from JU are just plain ignorant. Does he even comprehend the amount of American lives lost saving his grandparents asses? I mean the French lasted two weeks against the Germans before they completely surrendered, not that the word surrender is alien to the French:
- Gallic Wars: Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
- Norse invasions, 841-911: After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) who gave them Normandy in return for peace. Normans proceed to become just about the only positive military bonus in France’s [favour] for next 500 years.
- Hundred Years War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; “France’s armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman.” Sainted.
- Italian Wars: Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
- Wars of Religion: France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
- Thirty Years War: France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
- War of Revolution: Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
- The Dutch War: Tied
- War of the Augsburg League/King William’s War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
- War of the Spanish Succession: Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.
- Seven year War 1756-1763: Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, the Germans again) at Rossbach, the French were held off for the remainder of the War by Frederick of Brunswick and a hodge-podge army including some Brits. War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and India (Clive at Plassey).
- American Revolution: In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as “de Gaulle Syndrome”, and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; “France only wins when America does most of the fighting.”
- French Revolution: Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
- Haiti, 1791-1804: French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. Shows another rule of French warfare; when in doubt, send an ally.
- The Napoleonic Wars: Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.
- Mexico, 1863-1864: France attempts to take advantage of Mexico’s weakness following its thorough thrashing by the U.S. 20 years earlier (“Halls of Montezuma”). Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). Booted out of the country a little over a year after arrival.
- The Franco-Prussian War: Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France’s ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
- Panama jungles 1881-1890: No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually built by the U.S. 1904-1914.
- World War I: Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it’s like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn’t call her “Fraulein.” Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.
- World War II: Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
- War in Indochina: Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu
- Algerian Rebellion: Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; “We can always beat the French.” This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
- War on Terrorism: France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald’s.
But I digress. Mike’s next post:
Examining my visitor logs, I found that my post on the Subway sandwich flap “Let Them Eat Cake” has been attracting quite a bit of attention today in France, Great Britain and one hit from San Francisco, which is about as close to France in spirit as you are likely to find this side of Montreal.
Sorry, readers, but I don’t have a lot of nice things to say about the French, as you will see if you visit that comment stream. But to have one of the ungrateful amphibian slimy toads call Americans “stupid” is just inviting a stronger response.
I have momentarily lifted the ban on profanity, in case any AMERICANS want to put in their two cents… Defeatist, America hating surrender monkeys (and this includes Democrats) may be subject to stricter speech regulation.
Which did not bring back the troll JU unfortunately….but Mike found that JU blogged about him instead here. The poor Altavista translation here:
Nice small American has an opinion radically different from the mienne when one speaks about the countryside of Subway in the USA. This nice small Mike left a message: “So go back to eating snails and see yew we care.” (Turns over to eat snails and see whether one is worried some) Merci Mike, but I eat neither snail, neither frog, nor MacDo. Each one its tastes. It also let see its opinion on its site: “Let Them Eat Cake! Oh it! This story has been around for has while, goal we At Mike S America cuts had our hands full fending off the communist surrender monkeys… The French, and assorted America haters cuts to their berets in A knot over this promotion for has new Subway sandwich: In response to the criticism, Subway has withdrawn the AD, giving France the only victory that sorry bunch of frogs has ever known. Making indignant frogophiles are still not satisfied, threatening to Subway boycott. I say: Let ‘ EM eat cake! However better yet, pass the snails!”” Which beautiful example of depth in the text. And when one sees the photographs of this good old man W one everywhere on the site with the American flags per Ci by there, I suppose an active member of the other with dimensions of the mirror. God Bless America…
Now I know why I cringed every day I was in France in 99. The only thing I did other then eat their awful food was visit Normandy and all the beaches. My Mother and Daughter went and did the touristy stuff but I could not get the bad taste out of my mouth in that country of cowards and ungrateful idiots. Thankfully we were only there for two days before we headed back to England. Wow, what a relief.
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