5 Feb

Taliban to Send Peace-Keeping Advisers to Chicago

Igor Toutellalai @ The People’s Cube:

Taliban_Truck.jpg

As negotiations for the US withdrawal from Afghanistan have once again come to a halt, the Taliban Supreme Council has offered to level the playing field by sending a group of 400 battle-hardened Taliban peacekeepers to the U.S. city of Chicago, to help pacify one of the most violent regions in the Great Plains area of the North American continent.

With many years of combat experience in violent areas of their own country and having fought rebels, insurgents, villagers, urban militias, rival drug lords, as well as Soviet and American occupying forces on foot, horses, camels, donkeys, and trucks, they may be just what the Chicago city officials need to pacify their own population and bring the recently publicized murder rateunder control.

Details as to the logistical challenges have yet to be worked out, but already many US officials are expressing support for the idea.

“It’s heart-warming to see the human interest the Taliban has taken in the plight of our inner-city minority residents,” said Michael Dristun, a State Department analyst. “We’re all excited about getting a fresh perspective on how to bring peace to rough, volatile neighborhoods.”

Ramadullah, a concerned Taliban chieftain from the Swat Valley in Afghanistan, who follows the local tradition of only having one name, said that his people are “very troubled by the social problems in Chicago and simply want to help.”

“We read the war stories coming out of Chicago and we ask ourselves, ‘Why are they still fighting when their tribal chief has been elected President in 2007 and then also in 2012?'” Ramadullah said. “In our own country, we stop killing each other once we win elections. Well, mostly.”

More sarcasm here

       

About Curt

Curt served in the Marine Corps for four years and has been a law enforcement officer in Los Angeles for the last 24 years.

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