3 reasons Sandra Fluke totally deserves to be TIME Magazine’s Person of the Year

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Kristen Walker Hatten @ Life Action News:

Every year, TIME Magazine, a periodical which continues to insist upon its own relevancy despite the fact that no one under the age of 40 reads it, nominates a list of people to be its Person of the Year. The criteria for having this title bestowed upon you is that you be “the person or persons who most affected the news and our lives, for good or ill, and embodied what was important about the year.”

This year, they have nominated Sandra Fluke, the young woman you are sick to death of hearing about. The Georgetown law student was used as a political prop to great effect by Democrats when they held up a megaphone to her battle cry that Georgetown – a Catholic university – doesn’t provide enough access to birth control pills for female students. This led Rush Limbaugh to suggest that maybe someone who wants someone else to pay for their birth control pills could possibly maybe be a “slut,” and then everyfauxminist in the world rallied around her and President Obama called her on the phone to make sure she was okay and then the “war on women” and “reproductive rights” and Republicans are mean and the Democrats win.

Here are my top three reasons why Sandra Fluke totally deserves to be TIME Magazine‘s Person of the Year:

3. The make-believe “War on Women” is a huge reason why Obama won. He got 67% of the single female vote. It played a ginormous role in winning him the presidency, and Fluke was instrumental in getting him that vote. Fauxminists love Fluke. She has that intellectual, gently lesbian look that fauxminists love: kind of pretty, like a younger Demi Moore, but also a bit prickly and “I’ve read more than you.” Single chicks dig that. They want to invite her over to drink wine and listen to Tori Amos. She is a “soul sister,” fighting for the rights we all deserve, like free birth control pills paid for by our big Catholic daddies who are mean to us and have oppressed us with their patriarchy for too long. Like, don’t they even know that before Christianity the Goddess was a Woman and men were but her consorts? Don’t they even know that women have Divine Feminine Power which comes from their uteruses or something, and that’s why we should keep them clean with abortions? Quick, let’s form a goddess circle and read Alice Walker novels out loud!

Okay, but seriously: Sandra Fluke is the face of the War on Women, and it’s that imaginary war between female autonomy and the Republican party that won the Democrats the election. It is my opinion that, other than the candidates themselves, no other single person had a more profound effect on the 2012 presidential election than Sandra Fluke.

Truth is, it could have been almost any articulate single woman playing Fluke’s role, but for whatever reason, she got the part, and she played it well.

2. Sandra Fluke embodies the times. She is at the very least a captain in what my husband calls the Free S**t Army. For Democrats, gone are the days of “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.” Say that to people in the Free S**t Army, and they cock their heads to the side quizzically, like a confused puppy, and demand their free cell phone.

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TIME Magazine? Are they still printing that rag?

Anyone who begs for free birth control because they can’t afford it is basically saying they are having waaaaay more sex than the average person. It kind of reminds me of a slut. Hmmmm– Did she take up a profession that rhymes with her name? FLUKE????? Why should I pay for her birth control? I haven’t asked her to pay for any of my medication.