Sunday Funnies contains 79 photos.
“2012 is supposed to be the year the world ends. Have you seen the national debt? If the world doesn’t end, we are so screwed.” –Jay Leno
“Rick Santorum lost by 8 votes. He’d have won if he’d just gotten the gay vote.” –Jay Leno
Sunday Funnies contains 54 photos.
“While shopping at Best Buy, out of force of habit, President Obama put everything on layaway. He told the store, “Don’t worry about it; the grandkids will pay for it.” –Jay Leno
Sunday Funnies contains 58 photos.
“A new poll shows that, for the very first time, voters that view President Obama unfavorably outnumber those who view him favorably. In fact, if he gets any more unpopular, legally, he might have to run as a Republican.” –Jay Leno
Sunday Funnies contains 95 photos.
“Vice President Joe Biden just mailed his family Christmas card which is signed with his dog Champ’s paw print. The weird thing is, Biden actually does that with all his important documents.” –Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama celebrated Hanukkah at the White House last night. He lit the menorah, and then Vice President Joe Biden came in sang happy birthday, and blew out all of the candles.” –Jay Leno
Sunday Funnies contains 54 photos.
“Iran is now in possession of an American drone. When I heard that I thought, ‘Oh, my god, they captured Joe Biden?’” –Jay Leno
“You know the difference between God and Newt Gingrich? God doesn’t think he’s Newt Gingrich.” –Jay Leno
“A global study released just today found that happiness does not increase with the rate of economic growth. To which President Obama said, ‘See? That’s what I’ve been trying to tell people.’” –Jay Leno
Sunday Funnies contains 78 photos.
“It is the holiday season over at the White House. The theme for this year’s Christmas is ‘Shine, Give, Share.’ While rumor is, the theme of next year’s White House Christmas will be ‘Clean, Pack, Move.’” –Jimmy Fallon
“The good news is, the unemployment rate has dropped to 8.6 percent. The bad news is, most of those require a sack, a red suit, and a beard.” –Jay Leno
Sunday Funnies contains 66 photos.
“A woman in Southern California pepper sprayed her fellow customers on Black Friday at Wal-Mart so she could get an advantage while shopping. But the good news is, today she was offered a job with the UC Davis police department.” –Jay Leno
“The Christmas season has officially started. Today I saw Herman Cain wearing his mistletoe belt buckle.” –Jay Leno
Sunday Funnies contains 35 photos.
P.E.T.A. says that turkeys are now so fat, they can’t stand up. They’re prone to heart attacks, and they have trouble mating. No, I’m sorry. That’s what the turkeys say about us. -Jay Leno
Officials in New York City have arrested an al-Qaida sympathizer for allegedly planning a terrorist attack. You know, I hope al-Qaida gets the message. If we want to be terrorized over Thanksgiving, we have our relatives come visit us. -Jay Leno
Sunday Funnies contains 51 photos.
Happy Thanksgiving!
You know that just before that first Thanksgiving dinner there was one wise, old Native American woman saying, “Don’t feed them. If you feed them, they’ll never leave.”–Dylan Brody
Thanksgiving, when the Indians said, “Well, this has been fun, but we know you have a long voyage back to England.”–Jay Leno
Sunday Funnies contains 102 photos.
“You know what you call a Democrat who makes as many verbal gaffes as Rick Perry? Vice president.” –Jay Leno
“A guy named Reggie Love leaving the White House to get a degree at the Wharton School of Business. I guess he realized you can’t learn anything about economics in the Obama White House.” –Jay Leno
