Category Archives: Sunday Funnies

Sunday Funnies contains 96 photos.

“A phone survey found 70 percent of Americans support legalizing marijuana. I can’t believe that many marijuana supporters managed to answer the phone.” –Craig Ferguson

Continue reading →

Sunday Funnies contains 84 photos.

“Mitt Romney just barely won the Republican primary in Ohio by 1%. …Then Romney made the mistake of saying, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, tonight is a victory for the 1%!’” –Conan O’Brien

“According to exit polls, Mitt Romney is struggling with voters who call themselves very conservative. However, Mitt is doing great with voters who describe themselves as being ‘totally freaked out by Rick Santorum.’” –Conan O’Brien

Continue reading →

Sunday Funnies contains 21 photos.

“President Obama is trying to come up with a new campaign slogan that would replace ‘hope and change.’ He’s thinking of going with ‘I am not Mitt Romney.’” –Craig Ferguson

Continue reading →

Sunday Funnies contains 105 photos.

“It’s been reported that Mitt Romney’s campaign is spending cash twice as fast as they’re earning it. Hey, it turns out he is just like us after all.” –Conan O’Brien

“Political analysts say the key voting bloc could be birth control moms. Birth control moms are women who use birth control but apparently not correctly.” –Conan O’Brien

David Letterman’s “Top Ten Other Movies About Mitt Romney”

10. Dial M For Mitt
9. Mitty Mitty Bang Bang
8. The Mittrix
7. Butch Romney And The Sundance Mitt
6. Mittion: Impossible
5. When Harry Mitt Romney
4. Terms of Endearmitt
3. Mr. Romney Doesn’t Go To Washington
2. Dog On A Hot Car Roof
1. They’re Just Not That Into You

Continue reading →

Sunday Funnies contains 92 photos.

“Mitt Romney and his wife wanted to spend a nice quiet Valentine’s night just by themselves. So they went to one of Mitt’s campaign rallies.” –Jay Leno

“You know a really sad thing about Valentine’s Day? Some people can’t have the person they really love, so they settle for someone else. But enough about the Republicans and Mitt Romney.” –Jay Leno

“Mitt Romney is sinking in the polls. That is the magic of a Donald Trump endorsement right there.” –David Letterman

Continue reading →

Sunday Funnies contains 74 photos.

“Donald Trump has now endorsed Mitt Romney. Imagine that, a billionaire reaching out to a millionaire. The two classes are coming together.” –Jay Leno

“Romney was endorsed by Donald Trump. You know what that means, ladies and gentlemen. Nothing.” –David Letterman

“Mitt Romney lost all three of the primaries. Today, he begged Donald Trump to take back his endorsement.” –David Letterman

Continue reading →

Sunday Funnies contains 87 photos.

“The government may be legally required to release the video of Osama bin Laden’s killing. President Obama said this would be unhelpful, inflammatory, and ‘Could you please release it two days before the election?’” –Conan O’Brien

“A lot of people want Gingrich and Romney to continue their attacks on each other all the way to the convention. These people are called Democrats.” –Craig Ferguson

Continue reading →

Sunday Funnies contains 61 photos.

“President Obama aired his first campaign ad of 2012, which promotes his record on clean energy. Obama’s a big environmentalist. In fact, for the election he plans to recycle the same promises he made four years ago.” –Jimmy Fallon

“Everybody thought that Mitt Romney was the big Iowa caucus winner, but it turns out after the recount that Rick Santorum won the Iowa caucuses. You folks know what this means? Neither do I.” –David Letterman

“First Mitt won Iowa, then he lost Iowa? That’s a classic Romney flip-flop.” –Stephen Colbert

Continue reading →

Sunday Funnies contains 62 photos.

“The State Department issued a new travel warning yesterday, urging U.S. citizens to avoid Syria. Yeah, it was part of a new set of warnings called, ‘Things you were probably doing already.’” –Jimmy Fallon

“A cardiologist now says that former Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards’ trial has to be delayed because Edwards has a life-threatening condition. Hey, don’t all husbands who cheat have a life-threatening condition?” –Jay Leno

“President Obama took Michelle out to a steak restaurant for her birthday, marking the first time in months the words ‘Obama’ and ‘well done’ appeared in the same sentence.” –Jimmy Fallon

“Today, the TSA has admitted that it was wrong to let its screeners strip search two elderly women last month. However, the screeners won’t be punished because living with the memory of what they saw is punishment enough.” –Conan O’Brien

“Because of a protest, starting at midnight, Wikipedia is going to shut down for 24 hours. In fact, it’s 11:05, so you have less than one hour to get most of your facts wrong.” –Conan O’Brien

“I’m sensing Mitt Romney isn’t that popular with Republicans. On the New Hampshire ballot he was listed as ‘Mitt Romney, I guess.’” –Seth Meyers on Saturday Night Live’s “Weekend Update”

“Mitt Romney, whose father was born in Mexico, is now talking up his Mexican heritage. Not to be outdone today, Newt Gingrich said he once cheated on one of his wives with a woman named Juanita.” –Jay Leno

Continue reading →

Sunday Funnies contains 70 photos.

“Seventy-six percent of people polled thought that Mitt was short for mittens. I’d vote for him if his name was Mittens Romney. Other nations would fear us for being so adorable.” –Craig Ferguson

Continue reading →