25 Dec

Christmas Funnies

                                       

“According to a new poll, most Americans think Santa Claus is a Democrat – which is really odd because when I think of a fat, old white man who hires unskilled labor, I think Republican.” -Conan O’Brien

“Christmas is less tha

n two weeks away. I do most of my shopping online. But I hire someone to honk and scream obscenities at me while I’m doing it so I get the whole holiday shopping experience.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“A new poll revealed that 44 percent of Americans think Santa is a Democrat and 28 percent believe he is a Republican. And the other 28 percent said to please stop bothering me with stupid questions. ” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Some people said, ‘Oh, Santa’s a Democrat because he gives handouts,’ and other people said, ‘He’s a Republican because he’s an old white guy.”” –Jimmy Kimmel

“The fact of the matter is Santa isn’t a Democrat or a Republican. In fact, Santa isn’t even an American. I have news for you. The real Santa is Chinese. You think elves are the ones making that plastic crap we give our kids? No. Chinese people are.” –Jimmy Kimmel

As we get closer to Christmas, these Christmas tree lots try to rip you off because they know you’re desperate. They know you need a tree. I was at a lot last night. I went to buy a tree. Needles sold separately. I couldn’t believe it.- Jay Leno

This entry was posted in Holidays, Sunday Funnies. Bookmark the permalink. Tuesday, December 25th, 2012 at 12:00 am
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3 Responses to Christmas Funnies

  1. Wordsmith says: 2

    Thanks, pookie! Merry Christmas!

    I added 4 more ‘toons at the bottom.

    ReplyReply
  2. pookie18 says: 3

    Merry Christmas, Word!

    ReplyReply

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