A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Wall Street

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Christopher Muffin is a 99%’er; well not quite, actually, he is a new member of the 99%, ever since his dad turned off the money. His dad is a 1%, who has way too much money and doesn’t want to share it anymore with Christopher. He just doesn’t understand, Christopher’s mission has been to find himself. Spending thirteen years at university is nothing, many holy men spend a lifetime searching for their inner being.

It’s a good thing the OWS movement started; otherwise, the university was wanting its tuition or blood money and his dad wasn’t going to foot the bill any longer. Man, that’s just bad karma for his dad.

He bought a tent, a sleeping bag and a bag of dope and in a few days he became a bona fide camper or occupier. Now he spends his days getting high and looking for chicks that need a hero. How good can it get?

The trouble started a few nights ago when a guy brought out this expensive bong and wanted to smoke some of Christopher’s dope. He had this really cute chick with him that was so hot, so it seemed like a good idea. She had a bottle of wine and after they got started smoking and drinking, Christopher decided it was time to impress the young chick with his knowledge of Marxism and his repertoire of revolutionary quotes.

He stood up to do his recitation, and in the middle of a Karl Marx quote, just as the 18 year old chick was becoming enthralled with his intellect, someone passed him a bottle of wine. He took a break to have a drink, tilted the bottle up and put his head back to drink, but lost his balance and fell over backwards onto a guy using the glass bong. The bong broke and the owner was all upset over his $250 bong.

Christopher had never worked, he had been wealthy all his life, material things don’t really have value to him. He shook his head, tried to focus his eyes and said to the owner of the bong while laughing, “It’s just a bong, man”.

That was the wrong thing to say. The guy flew into a rage and jumped on Christopher.

Fortunately, neither man was very dangerous in a rhubarb and the fight was more like professional wrestling than mixed martial arts. A policeman pulled the man off of Christopher and asked what was going on. The guy was complaining in the slurred speech of a drunk that Christopher was drunk and had broken his bong. The cop looked at the man in disbelief, while Christopher used a moment of lucidity to make his escape.

He drifted through the crowd and started to gather up his tent and sleeping bag when he noticed a big drunk urinating on his tent. After watching the desecration of his camping equipment, he decided to leave the camping equipment for a more desperate camper in need. Who knows it might serve as a double tax deduction that way. He bought it and then he donated it, that’s a double deduction. His father the Capitalist pig would be proud of his natural business skills.

He decided to drive to California and join one of their Occupy movements, just until the heat is off and the cops weren’t looking for him for breaking the dude’s bong. He used his credit cards, until he made it to Arizona and he started to have engine problems. He pulled into a garage and asked the mechanic to look at his Beamer.

It turned out to need a new or rebuilt engine. He told the mechanic, “no problem, just put it on the credit card”. The mechanic tried to run the numbers, but the card had been decommissioned. That was Chris’s dad the evil Capitalist, playing games with Chris’s life again. It was going to cost $3,000 for a used engine and he had thirty dollars cash. The situation wasn’t looking good. He told the mechanic, he needed a beer and to hold off on doing anything, until he figured out what to do.

After a couple of beers, he asked the bartender if he knew of any jobs. The barkeep said there was a rancher who needed men to feed and care for cattle at his feedlot. He volunteered to call him, if he really wanted to work. Christopher was desperate, “give him a call.”

An hour later, the rancher came into the bar and asked Christopher if he was the one looking for honest work.

Chris looked at the older man dressed in Western clothes and said he needed a job real bad, because his car was broke down.

The old rancher said, “Well come on out to the ranch and sober up. You can start tomorrow. I’ve got all the work you can handle.”

Chris looked at the hardened old man and said, “What does this ranch work pay?”

The rancher looked at him, “I’ll pay you what you are worth.”

Chris stood up, “Hell no! there’s no way I’m going to work for those kind of wages. What do you think the revolution is all about?”

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Right after I got out of the Service I worked in a cattle feed lot for a few months, and then a cotton gin and finally a crop dusting service while waiting for the judge who promised me some help if I got an honorable discharge under the join or jail program. Then the opening came up with a rural Sheriff’s Dept with another Marine running the show and my real career was off and running.

Those cops and that judge were the best friends a somewhat wild kid could ever have. I went from a 17 year old who loved beer and fistfights , destined for the pen to a grandfather with a small pension and a paid for home. Some very tough love and the USMC built me a good life. Too damned bad the join or jail program is stopped. There’s a whole bunch that might really benefit. Of course the services would have to reopen some stockades and some brigs for those who wouldn’t straighten out under the tender ministrations of the Drill Instructors but that’s life.

Those were the days, my friend. I have seen many young men like this Christopher Muffin…aimless…directionless…hopped up on dope and who knows what else. What kind of self-respecting girl would fall in love with a loser like this? Likely someone who has an eye on his trust fund.

I’d like to know what 99% these people are talking about…because there certainly are not that many communists in the U.S.; although there may be that many who are professional students under the wing of professors like Bill Ayers.

Still, even if you counted every single college student as a commie-they do not comprise 99% of the population.

Peter, congratulations on having a successful life. I knew several guys who were given that option and they all turned around. I thought it was a great program and I am sure it helped save the lives of countless young men.

Although, I think there is a deeper element that is partially responsible for the miscreants we have gathering in these OWS protests: young men need good role models and heroes. The Marines will offer them many within a few hours, but today’s youth have rock stars, Hollywood misfits, and professional athletes who all too often appear to be little more then overpaid thugs. (I am sure there are outstanding citizens among them.)

With role models like this, is it no wonder that today’s young people have no direction?

Cao, your fears are well founded. Ayers has been writing text books for our young people for years.

There are not enough Conservatives in education; unfortunately, the Conservative mindset has been to pursue the most lucrative careers and leave education to those most easily persuaded the path of least resistance.

I saw the system in university for what it was in the mid-sixties; challenge your Leftist professor and his precepts of Socialism and you would need to fight for every percentage point on your grade. Become known as a Conservative and you would be considered a radical on campus, to be looked at with suspicion and dread by certain instructors if they saw you in their class on the first day. Yes, I was a rebel who thought many of my instructors weren’t all that bright or difficult to challenge. It cost me in Liberal Arts classes, but I made up for it in the cold hard sciences and with Lefties who liked to be challenged.

The other option was to swallow their pablum and be led like a lamb to the abattoir of Marxism and in four years you are a mush brained Leftist, what a wonderful system.

I think that the leftists at universities have done a very good job of persecuting anyone who might support Israel or even ask why that side of the Palestinian equation isn’t presented at the schools anymore. Questioning the status quo isn’t permitted. Leftist ideas are integrated into every single subject you take; it’s sickening. Thanks for the response to my observations. It’s not a ‘fear’ as much as it’s just a sad ‘fact’, unfortunately.

My experience has been in carpentry for forty years, but in Jiminy Carter’s reign of stagflation, I worked in a nursery, when the Yankees came to Texas, and flooded the market with alien carpenters (Yankees from Michigan, Wisconsin, and Ohio), I worked in a feed store, hauling 100 lb. bags of cottonseed meal, and cattle feed, as well as working in the hayfields, collecting square bales, and piling them on the trucks to take and stack in the feed stores and barns around the area.
I have never taken gubbmint money, and I would feel ashamed to- leave that money for the people who truly need it- as long as I can do something, that is what I will do. No handouts for me.

Great parable, Skookum!

I am glad to relate it to others.
Here’s a new wrinkle….
One of the “Occupy” camps turns out to be a Potemkin Village!
Conservative Ezra Levant took an infrared camera down to Occupy Toronto and discovered nearly all the tents are empty:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljQd_pfykV8&feature=player_embedded

The same thing was true when reporters took an infrared camera to Occupy London. Makes you wonder how many of these camps are nylon fictions.
(Lots of photos at the link.)

Great allegory, the Donald Sutherland professor character in Animal House epitomizes that institutional evil in much of what is called “higher” education.

OMG NG too funny! They run home to their heated apartments and whatnot; or mummy’s basement.

Cao
I think, the students of any high schools are influence too much with the FOREIGNERS
I MEAN the young AMERICANS WHICH ARE BEING SOLD THE PROPAGANDE OF HATERS of this AMERICA, trying to get them to join the fantastic adventure as they color it of their COUNTRIES,
And all the young AMERICANS WOULD HAVE TO DO , IS ASK THEM WHY ARE YOU HERE IN MY COUNTRY,
that would shut them
BYE

I’m confused by the OWSers, though my college era problems were much like theirs. I spent 7 years in and out of college, finally graduating with what I considered a rather useless degree in Sociology. I didn’t know what to do, but had some musical talent, so I did that for the next 10 years as a subsistence living. But I didn’t hate rich people, they were my heroes. I figured if they could do it, so could I. Realizing I would always be poor if I stayed with music I set two goals, to build a one-man business (I didn’t do well working at regular jobs, and had few hireable skills), and to semi-retire by 60. I got a real estate license and realized the first goal over the next ten years and the second in 2009. That sociology degree? It helped me understand some books on demographics I read that claimed the housing market and general economy would have major problems about the time I would turn 60. By living below my means for 30 years and saving and investing I made the semi-retire goal on time. My wife retired at 53. It never occured to me to expect the govt to do anything about my needs. I guess I’m one of the 1% or close to it. I don’t feel guilty about that at all. Where did I go wrong?

Interesting comment you made there, ILBW, but I think you’ve veered off topic. Very briefly:

There is no such thing as “American blood” because we are all made of foreign blood. The problem is we’re not a ‘melting pot’ anymore. America is made up of fractured splintered victim groups; and this is stressed in media and popular culture.

Now, what is being taught is – emphasis on particular groups to divide us. The “haves” versus the “have-nots”; forgetting that everyone in a capitalist system, no matter how poor, has an equal opportunity for success and a good life, provided he can put in some hard work-he can enjoy the fruits of his labor, and so can his family.

Cao,
hi,
I see what you mean,
I did not say blood related AMERICANS, JUST AMERICANS YOUNG STUDENTS BEING LED TO BELIEVE LIES FROM MANY FOREIGN COUNTRIES WHO COME TO STUDY AND bring their propagande with them,
to our good well manner student to confuse them.
bye

Those that can- do
Those that can’t- teach

Thanks for the link, Nan. I watch Ezra Levant on the Source as much as I can. Dig around You tube and watch the Mark Steyn interview. So much intellect and fun.

@ilovebeeswarzone: Thanks for responding, I “get” what you’re saying now.

Meremortal
you have gone wrong by the standard of the owl occupiers, and by OBAMA STANDARD BECAUSE he favor the owl more and would like you to give them your money,
don’t go anywhere this will be fix, and you will feel good to be able to enjoy youself with your
own money, and make some more.
you’re the best

Peter,
hi, those who occupy the parks all over, if they are arrested, will become fellons, and join the many young AMERICANS who are desperate trying to find a job
yes too bad because those young are at the time of their life to make a choice,
and if they listen to A GOVERNEMENT LEADER LIKE THEY DID, who they hold respect to, and don’t have develop their inner discerning ability
will follow blindly a leader corrupt and want them to gather and shout the anger he project himself but want to be followed by a crowd to sound legitimate in his wish to get the money of richer for him to spend not to distribute as he told the owls, whom he couldn’t care less if they are arrested or killed,
that leader is a sick mind to agree to the owls which won’t achieve nothing, except hurt for them ,and hurt for the law officers, and hurt for the civiliens, and no one ows nothing to the ows
,

And this…

For Only $850,000, These Lobbyists Will Take Down Occupy Wall Street

Worried about Occupy Wall Street’s effect on your bottom line? Why not hire lobbying firm CLGC to conduct “opposition research [and] targeted social media monitoring” to “construct fact-based negative narratives” about the movement? That’s right—for only $850,000 you can hire some guys to follow a couple Twitter accounts and write some chain emails!

Here’s the leaked memo, obtained by MSNBC’s Up with Chris Hayes, which outlines a hilariously stupid plan to undermine Occupy Wall Street using “opposition research” (read: searching Facebook for “Occupy Wall Street”), “targeted social media monitoring” (read: searching Facebook for “Occupy Wall Street”), “coalition planning” (read: searching Facebook for “I Hate Occupy Wall Street”) and “advertising creative and placement strategies” (read: buying ads for “Occupy Wall Street” Facebook searches). How stupid is this memo? So stupid that not even the American Bankers Association, the target of the pitch, signed on.

And guess who wrote it?

Two of the memo’s authors, partners Sam Geduldig and Jay Cranford, previously worked for House Speaker John Boehner!!!

http://gawker.com/5861150/for-only-850000-these-lobbyists-will-take-down-occupy-wall-street

Right, Liberalman. The Occupoopers are not pooping on cars and the sidewalk, raping women, inciting violence, and they’re not related to the shooter of the White House (even though he was seen in their DC encampment). They’re not Zuccotti-lung Tuberculosis & otherwise disease ridden hypodermic needle slinging do-nothing bums who go home at night to their mom’s house. Even though we have proof with pictures taken by thermal cameras that the poopers were not in their tents at night. (Actually I did read read somewhere that some of the OW protesters are getting paid $20 an hour by some stoopid leftist outfit.) It’s all Bush’s fault.

@liberalmann: Here’s the leaked memo, obtained by MSNBC’s Up with Chris Hayes, which outlines a hilariously stupid plan to undermine Occupy Wall Street using “opposition research”…snip…

You’re absolutely correct libman. Who needs a meme and a plan when they undermine themselves daily in the national news headlines, and steadily add to their ever expanding rap sheets.

So you object to any conservatives scrutinizing the infestants? That’s interesting… do you also object to your party’s elected officials, the POTUS in the WH and George Soros egging them on? Or is your disdain for any political scrutiny aimed only at those who don’t share your infatuation for anarchy and mob rule?

Cao… how nice to see you visiting with some regularity here at FA. Hope you stick around. I can already tell you will be a welcomed eloquent voice.

BTW… just to introduce you to our Ms. Bees… she’s a Canadian with a passion for all things American. French is her first language, and she’s been improving in her English presentations here at FA over the year or so she’s been a regular forum member. We’re quite proud of her progress. Can’t be easy trying to absorb the language, and the US political scene all at once.

One of these days her command of the English language will catch up to her fierce patriotism, putting so many of these infestant/occupiers to shame, and we’ll all be in trouble! LOL

MATA
thank you for my profile, I LIKE IT,
I will try to live up to it,
bye

Mata, thanks…