I’m too old to Trick or Treat but I still love this time of year because, you see, it’s Halloween candy thievin’ season.
You see, I’m a candy thief. I admit it. I’m actually proud of it. I have my children trained. They go out and get the goodies, they pick out my favorites for me and fork them over. They get the rest.
What they don’t know is that I have been known to go in their bags and get stuff they don’t know I’m getting.
Is that wrong?
Smarties and Goetze’s caramels are my favorites. Those are the ones that I have the children trained to hand over.
What are your favorites?
Man, you are my kind o’ daddy.
The carpet-crawlers, now properly induced to lay supine in the shadow of He Who Eats All-things Nougat, have been cowed into turning over their 3-Musketeers, and Milky Ways to the one who has spawned them from his loins.
It is He who hath acquired home and hearth, it is He who hath abolished nakedness, it is He who hath quench thirst and want. He who has state-approved permission to drive shall be heeded at all costs unto thee.
And under threat of Spam at every meal for any perceived hesitation thereof, hence 2 score years, they have acquiesced in a most desirable manner.
So, big question is: What will you do to obtain your annual sugar fix when they are too old/disinterested in Halloween?
@aj:
We live kinda off the beaten path, the only kids we’ve had come to the house in the last 15 years are the grand-kids. My wife always gets on me when I come back from the store with about 20lbs of candy. She tells me why? there won’t be anyone! So I just tell her to relax and have a snickers bar!
Sarge
I spent the first thirty years of my life in an orgy of overeating and couldn’t gain an ounce. Now, if I look at food I gain weight. I must take the sanctimonious self righteous high road here, but in reality, give me a Snickers, Large size if you don’t mind.
I love Sunkist Fruit Gems, DOTS (Original and tropical flavors) and Nerds that are grape or strawberry flavored.
You’ve seen those films where mice are fed crack, well that’s me when I have access to Smarties. It’s the only legal recreational drug in the U.S. with addictive properties and everything. They take sugar high to a whole new level.
We no longer have kids to rob from or left overs from trick or treaters but, Peanut Butter cups, Milkyway bars, Three Musketeers, Twix bars and those filled strawberry hard candies are to be in the treat jar at all times. Hubby’s rules and the grandkids are in on it.
This reminds me of my dad on Easter, he loved the black jelly beans, we were very happy to hand them over. Then came the grandkids and it was, “go feed those to grampa” little pudgy hands with sticky black jelly beans, he got such a big kick out of that.
Smarties RULE!
dots, milky way midnights, twizzlers, junior mints, and milk duds. after the kids went to sleep i raided their bags and then was at walmart before the sun was up because all the halloween candy was half off. i hide it and can get a good six months on the stuff on sale.
Nothing like snickers. Too bad I can’t eat sugar.