Life and the internet are strange strange things. I’ve been trading emails and posts etc with Chris for years now. It wasn’t at all uncommon for his duties, deployments, and family to make those virtual conversations sporadic from time to time. Well, Chris won’t be returning emails anymore. He passed away suddenly on June 30, 2009.
Last Fall he and his wife Shannon had a baby girl, Lilly. Chris was so happy. We teased him about how awful it is to step on Barbie Doll high heels in the middle of the night, and he bragged about how his friends Mossberg and Remington were gonna help keep the boys away from his little beauty.
A few weeks later he deployed to Afghanistan. We still got emails from him. He sent pics, talked about the firefights, artillery barrages on Christmas night, and how, ‘once you accept that if you step off the path you’re in a minefield , and you’re dead, it’s not that bad. Ya just stay on the path.’ He didn’t love it over there in the ass-end of the planet by any stretch of the imagination, but he was extremely proud to be doing his duty-at least, that’s what he told us in emails.
Chris was always brash, blunt, bold, and beautiful in his political commentary. He was in no uncertain terms not happy with the Democratic Party, its leaders or its followers. Time and again he posted here at Flopping Aces in response to DNC talking points about Iraq, Afghanistan, and the Global War on Terror. He would NEVER stoop to re-naming it ‘overseas contingency operations in support of combat in Operations Iraqi Freedom and/or Operation Enduring Freedom. People would post that there were no WMD in Iraq, and he’s show pictures and links and tell personal stories of his time there. They’d say there was no Al Queda in Iraq, and that Saddam and Bin Laden had no relationship, and he’d wig out with tales of what he had personally seen.
What really set Chris off the most in terms of war and politics seemed to be the lack of support, the fake support, and the deliberate division of the nation for political purposes. Time and time again he claimed that the opposition to the war was just a way of bitching about George W Bush. He claimed that if Obama was elected, the opposition to the war would disappear in a heartbeat. He was right. He hated the claim that people could claim supported the troops, and then oppose their efforts to succeed; oppose their hard work. It pissed him off. He said in one email it was like saying you support the players on your baseball team, but not wanting them to win. He saw it as a lie, a lie for partisan political reason, and he saw the fake opposition to America’s wars as something weak, something that he personally, directly, unequivocally witnessed giving strength to the enemy and made his job harder. He described this firsthand frustration in almost every email, every post, and every article that he wrote.
This weekend the Flopping Aces writers were trading emails and having one of those REPLY TO ALL discussions. One of us asked what we’d all be wondering, “Has anyone heard from Chris lately?” Curt was the last. He had heard from him in early June. It only took a few moments of Googling, and someone found his obituary. We couldn’t believe it was him. Too much hair in the picture-not enough hair. More Googling followed. So did more information. Yeah, it was him.
On June 30th Major Chris Galloway took his own life. He had come back from Afghanistan in April, and things just weren’t the same we’re told.
Why’d we lose him? Who the hell knows. There is no rational reason for doing such a thing, so using reason to figure it out is both impossible and ineffectual. It accomplishes nothing. In the end, he’s still gone. For the sake of his wife, his kids, and for ourselves it’s better to remember him for who he was. Given that he was so much to so many, there’s a lot to think about. He was a husband, father, soldier, a writer for Flopping Aces, and I consider him my friend. We all consider him our friend. May God bless him and give him peace. He’s earned it.
Chris’ military honors:
MAJOR Christopher Todd Galloway was born in FT. Knox, KY on February 12, 1973.
He Graduated from Oxford High School in 1991, where he was a member of the explorer scouts program and he also took great interest in computers and engineering.
MAJOR Galloway went to Western Michigan University in Kalamazoo, MI (where he met his wife Shannon) He graduated in 1996 with a bachelors degree in engineering management. He became involved in ROTC while in college and went to Basic training at FT. Knox, KY.
After Graduation, MAJOR Galloway’s 1st assignment was tank platoon leader in Baumholder, Germany for the C company, 1st battalion, 35th armor of 1st Armor division. While serving as a tank platoon leader, MAJOR Galloway deployed to Bosnia for 6 months conducting the NATO peace keeping operations. He was latter assigned to headquarters and headquarters company (HHC) Excutive Officer under the same Battalion.
Major GAlloway’s service includes Assistant Brigade S3 and Batalian S4 in FT. Riley, KS under the 1st Infantry Division. He Served as Troop Commander under D Troop, 1st Squadron, 16th Cavarly regiment in FT. Knox KY. This is where Chris Earned his spurs and Stetson that he was so proud of.
In 2006, Major Galloway was assessed in the Army Acquisition Corps. He served his 1st Acquisition assignment as the assistant Project manager (APM) for survivability under the TANK-AUTOMOTIVE research, development and Engineering center (TARDEC) in Warren, MI. He was deployed to Iraq in 2007 till the Birth of his 2nd son.
He served his most recent assignment with the joint MRAP Vehicle Program office for Mine resistant Ambush Protected (MRAP) as the APM Survivability under the Program Executive Office, Combat support & Combat service support (PEO CS&CSS)
Major Galloway’s awards and decorations include the Meritorious Service metal, Army Commendation Metal (2 OLC), Army Achievement metal, National Defense Service metal, NATO metal, Armed Forces Expeditionary Medal, Afghanistan Campaign metal, Global War on Terrorism Service Metal, and the overseas and Army Service ribbon.
He is Survived by his wife Shannon and their 3 children. Nathan (4.5), Benjamin (2) and Lillian (10 months)
Major Galloway is also survived by his Mother Sara Galloway and his sister Erin Galloway. He was preceded in Death by his father Major Lawrence Galloway.
There will be a trust fund set up for Major Galloway’s children soon, details to follow.
Chris’ articles here at Flopping Aces
Not even sure how to start this post, it’s all been a blur. As Scott described above it began with a simple “has anyone heard from Chris?” and it snowballed from there. I never, in my wildest dreams, imagined it would end like this. The Chris I knew and befriended here on Flopping Aces, first as a commenter and then author when I asked him to come aboard on September 6th, 2007 was solid as a rock. He served his country in war and peacetime. He was so proud of his country and his babies but was passionate about the direction this country was going in and he didn’t like it one bit…as none of us did either.
But why would he take his own life?
The last few emails I received from him in early June, apologizing for the lack of writing (which we all understood due to his service to our country) spoke of him going through some tough personal problems. I told him to stay in touch and if he needed anything to please contact me.
I never heard from him again.
As Scott said above “so using reason to figure it out is both impossible and ineffectual. It accomplishes nothing. In the end, he’s still gone.” So we will choose to honor a life he should be proud of.
Chris, may you rest in peace, and know that those issues you were so passionate about will not be forgotten by us left behind. You served your country proudly and for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
This weekend has been surreal. Our author off-forum discussions of Chris left us in varying states of disbelief, bewilderment and grieving. And I will even add, frustrating.
As one of the newest authors here, I feel cheated not having the cyber relationship longevity Curt, Scott and a few others have enjoyed. But my recent entry to this tight knit, and often sibling taunting, FA family never seemed to matter to Chris. From the moment that Curt brought me in to join the crew, Chris’ heart was opened, and his thoughts unedited.
But that human “welcome mat” seemed to be Chris all around. He had this knack of seeing beauty and bright spots in the darkest moments, or most barren terrain. A giving kind of guy with a heart bigger than a mountain, convictions as solid as the man of steel, and a loyalty and patriotism most could not fathom, let alone match.
Those same qualities are reflected in his military service as well. In some ways, you latecomers to FA can see into Chris’s soul by reading his first “guest post” in Sept 2007, called “My Iraq”. It was a post that led to his FA authorship status, and Curt’s comments still reside at the bottom of that post… tho I am chagrined to find the photos have been lost to archives and technological snafus from our history of cyber attacks. (Curt’s Note: I found the pictures in the archive and have put them back into that post)
Chris’s specialty was MRAPs. In essence, his job was to protect the troops… literally… with expertise in armoring up not only vehicles, but the gear they carried. Chris’s last tour in Iraq included new troops to care for… the Iraqi Army.
In that first post from Chris – still serving at that time in Iraq – one of the lost photos is of a newly trained Iraqi soldier embracing and comforting a child in the aftermath of battle.
The Iraqi Soldier of today is better educated, better lead, and better supported than he ever was. Would they be on par with the Western Coalition today? No, but few are and we train heard just to keep that proficiency ourselves.
That said, the Iraqi Army is probably the best armed force in the Arab/Persian world. If you cannot look at this picture and be touched by the emotional comfort the Soldier is providing the child, then I doubt anything I have to say will matter as your heart is full of hatred for the USA, our President, our Armed Forces, and the good Iraqi People.
So how does this affect yours truly? I helped equip this Soldier you see hugging the child. Everything he has on him and even that generator behind him are things I helped provide. That is my contribution to the war now. I help to build a professional Iraqi Army. My years as an Armor Officer are over. I have moved to Acquisitions. My vengeance to the terrorists no longer comes from the muzzles of my tanks, but from the ability of the Iraqis to hunt and kill the barbarian terrorist thugs themselves.
To re’read that post, and archives of Chris’s emails to us that were not for the public forum, the tears still well up. This was not a man who cried uncle in the face of adversity, but one who stood defiantly against those that preyed on the freedom and future of others. His convictions for our military, our mission in the Middle East, and his distinct dedication as a protector of all within in his power and reach is something that you find in few individuals.
He tried to find the beauty wherever he was… even describing Bagram as “nice, if dusty” in his final FA post after arriving in Afghanistan Nov of 2008. No matter where he was, Chris never lost the poet, nor sense of humor, that resided within.
Along with losing a cyber friend that I treasured, I have a particular sadness for Chris. He spent his adult life loving, giving and protecting. I can’t help but feel that, at a time when the “protector” needing protecting himself, that we… those he guarded and shielded with his very life… were perhaps unintentionally blind to his personal plight. Maybe we felt that one who displayed so much magnificence in his dedication to others was invincible to every incoming threat… military or personal.
Today, we know differently. For a reason we may never know, this man who gave his all for country, his fellow troops, and even strangers in a strange land, found himself running on “empty” when it came to protecting himself.
Chris? If there’s an ISP connection in heaven, you shall be missed. And never again will I see another warrior/protector, without wondering if perhaps I should find a way to give back and refuel his spirit…. Just in case he or she is too proud to say they are in trouble.
RIP, our friend.
The Internet makes our world smaller. It puts us into contact with people that we would otherwise have never known and our lives are made better for it.
It’s strange how you can grow attached to people that you have never met in person. That’s what happened when I “met” Chris. I became attached to him. I looked forward to hearing what he had to say.
Through Chris’ posts and his comments a man who truly loved his family and his country came shining through. A man with steely eyed resolve, quick wit, and a heart of gold. The dedication, determination, discipline, and skill that he put into his job as a defender of freedom was communicated loud and clear to all of us who read his words.
The pride, the joy, and the love that he had for his children was unmistakable.
Chris believed in America. He believed in our cause in Iraq and Afghanistan. Chris believed that he could make a difference. Chris did make a difference.
From his first post here at FA:
To those who serve and support our efforts and are part of the war to crush the rising tide of terrorism and hijacked Islam, you will look at this picture, and like me, promise those little eyes that we WILL NOT FAIL. I looked at this picture the most today writing this letter. I kept asking myself if I have done everything I can to give her the opportunity to work for freedom and live in true peace. I hope I have. I know others have given everything in that cause. 3,000 Americans have given their lives so little children like this girl will not live under tyranny. Many thousands more have given years of their lives to fight the rising tide of tyrants in the world.
To those people, I give my sincerest thanks and love, as everyone who reads this should also. They are the ones who make life worth living. It does not matter who these supporters of Freedom are or what they can provide to the effort. The fact that they provide is enough.
Just before Chris left for Afghanistan he e-mailed back and forth to the authors here at FA in one of the REPLY ALL conversations that we have so frequently. He told us that he was headed to Fort Benning, GA and, from there, to the “austere” surroundings of Afghanistan.
At the end of our group conversation I sent Chris an e-mail message. I asked him if it would be OK for our family to pray for him during his deployment and he told me that he would very much appreciate that.
I told him that, though we had never met, I would always be grateful for what he was doing for our country and, more personally, my family.
My wife, my children, and I thought of Chris and prayed for him while he was gone. We are all deeply saddened by his departure.
Our thoughts and prayers are now extended to Shannon and the children as well, as Chris’ mother, and his sister, and the rest of his family and friends. My God cover you and comfort you with fond memories as you travel this stony portion of life’s pathway.
Major Galloway rest well sir, rest well.
In ways you could never have imagined, you really did make a difference. My only regret is that we were unable to help make a difference for you when you needed us most.
All Is Well
Whate’er you dream, with doubt possessed,
Keep, keep it snug within your breast,
And lay you down and take your rest;
And when you wake, to work again,
The wind it blows, the vessel goes,
And where and whither, no one knows.‘Twill all be well: no need of care;
Though how it will, and when, and where,
We cannot see, and can’t declare.
In spite of dreams, in spite of thought,
‘Tis not in vain, and not for nought,
The wind it blows, the ship it goes,
Though where and whither, no one knows.– Arthur Hugh Clough
Life has a tendency to throw you a curve ball when you least expect one. This week in a ‘reply all’ email exchange, my fellow Flopping Aces contributors were shocked to discover the sudden loss of a treasured member of our internet family.
I was in awe of the talent, drive and passion that projected from his writings when I first joined the posse. His warm welcome calmed my anxiety of joining such a talented group of bloggers. Chris wasn’t just talking about the WOT, he was part of the story. Through private emails to our group, he fleshed out the story of Afghanistan; yet I always detected a note of hope in his dispatches. God, it hurts to write these words. During his deployment, I sent prayers his way during the weekly rally in West Chester – I will continue to do so for his wife and children.
I’m still trying to come to an understanding with the manner of his death, perhaps settling with never having a clear answer. Instead, I chose to remember Chris through his own words which reveal a passionate patriot, dedicated professional, and doting dad. He tirelessly worked to build a better, safer world for men, women and children halfway across the globe.
Let’s not mourn him, but honor his service by continuing to work for a better nation and a better world:
Turn Again To Life
If I should die and leave you here awhile,
Be not like others, sore undone,
Who keep long vigils by the silent dust and weep.
For my sake – turn to life and smile,
nerving thy heart and trembling hand to do
Something to comfort other hearts than thine.
Complete those dear unfinished tasks of mine
And I , perchance, may therein comfort you.~Mary Lee Hall
Rest in peace, Major Chris Galloway. You will not be forgotten.
I’ve been noticeably missing the past week or so for a number of reasons. Not the least of which is Army business, but I can’t blame it all on work. At the end of the show, I publicly admitted that I’m having issues dealing with life.
-CJ, writing on June 30th, the very day ChrisG committed suicide.
Back in March, I was about to transition to a new job and had interest in having another go at the military reserves, although I was rejected 2 years ago.
The recruiter I had begun talking to abruptly broke off contact. On March 18th, I sent an email to CJ of A Soldier’s Perspective, venting frustration. He wrote back:
To their credit this time, the Army is busy with a lot of suicide prevention training lately, especially the recruiters. Maybe give them another week, but keep trying!
Just the day before this, CJ had posted on suicide prevention programs within the military.
On March 6th, about 2 weeks earlier, CJ’s post began:
I want to address that Soldier, Marine, Sailor, or Airman that may have come here for answers. You may be contemplating suicide and you’re seeking help over the internet. If this is your only outlet, please seek us out. My email address is on the sidebar and regardless of the time of day, you may contact me. If you need help, I will give you my personal phone number. Above all, don’t go to extremes and try to kill yourself.
I can promise you that this world is a beautiful place and you are an amazing part of it. Please don’t leave people wondering what kind of world it would have been had you stayed in it! There is nothing in this world worthy of taking your life. Believe it or not, a failed relationship, a bad deployment experience, a failed job, delinquent bills, terrible leadership, the loss of a family member or friend – none of that is worth your life. I desperately urge you to take those issues in your life and become something bigger in spite of your problems. There are people who care about you deeply and want to help you through whatever you’re facing right now. We may not understand, but we care and want help you through it. Once you take your life, it can’t be taken back.
If you don’t contact us for help, please go somewhere. Check out www.militaryonesource.com for people that can help. Go to your chain of command. Seek out a complete stranger. Go to a hospital or police department. Just do something besides trying to take your life. I don’t know you personally, but I’d like to.
Although I’ve never met Chris, and had only limited contact and conversations with him, it’s difficult for any of us- his friends and family members most of all- not to wonder what we could have done to have made the difference in his life that might have given him that one moment of pause he needed to get him through. I had seen CJ’s post in March; around June or July, CJ himself came to grips with his own need to reach out for professional help and was diagnosed with PTSD. Chris ended his life in late June.
The “what if’s” inevitably begin to swirl around in my head: What if I had followed through with a blogpost of my own, then? Even just simply linked to CJ’s important post? Like so many intended posts, it never got made…Would Chris have seen it? Read it? Remembered it in his time of need? Contacted CJ? Sought help? Or would events have unfolded the way they did, anyway? What if I had bothered to correspond more with Chris? Sent him a kind word of support about how much we admire him for the hard job that he does daily for our country? Would I have noticed any possible signs that he was in trouble?
Having had an uncle who took his own life, I will say that the grief and guilt of those loved ones left behind can be enormous.
It wasn’t unusual for Chris to not post often (given the nature of his work); but it was a bit unusual that he wouldn’t chime in a response to a group discussion by his FA cohorts just to let us know he was there, listening in; or to leave a comment on one of the FA blog posts, often caustically biting the head off a liberal moonbat in the process. Something…anything. Often, his correspondence would come in spurts. This long stretch around, I figured he was just too busy out there saving the world; stupidly not realizing he might need saving himself.
I admired Chris greatly for the sacrifices he made- for the life he lived for a cause greater than self. He was every inch the epitome of what one wanted in an American soldier: Brave, dedicated, compassionate, humorous, patriotic, and…*ahem*…..staunchly conservative. 🙂 He loved his country and loved his family; and I am sure he loved life. Love of all three drove him to defend his country, his family, and the lives of the innocent. And for these things, more than for his FA contributions, I greatly thank him. America’s lost a true patriot; his wife has lost a husband who was crazy about her; and his children have lost a father who adored them. And THAT, is the most heartbreaking of all. As valuable as Chris is as a warrior to his country, warriors can be replaced; fathers cannot.
I can only pray that somewhere in heaven, Chris Galloway has found his peace. And that here back on earth, his wife, children, and those other loved ones he left behind will know theirs…
Dear brothers and sisters in arms, we CANNOT afford to close ourselves off from our families. They are the only ones that can see us through the difficulties of deployment. They are the best thing we have in dealing with our issues and understanding our sacrifices and duties. They sacrifice with us while we are gone and if we shut them out, we denigrate THEIR sacrifices.
It’s hard to ratchet down to the CONUS mindset knowing that in just 12 short months, you’ll be back in the combat mindset, but it’s something that must happen for the sake of our futures and our families’ futures. It would be different if there was a definite end date to these wars we’re fighting, but the enemy has a vote. We don’t now, so we need to take every step possible to find normalcy in the sea of conflict and combat we are so frequently subjected to.
If we can’t lean on and support our families, who can we turn to? Our non-military friends have no idea. Most communities have no clue. Our fellow troops have their own problems and marriages to worry about (though they are also a source to be tapped into). Our families should be our number one priority, not the Army, not the mission. Nothing should hold a higher priority in our lives except maybe our God.
If you make the Army a career, it will last 20-30 years. Your family will be there for much longer if you do it right. Why let something so temporary as the Army take precedence over something you’ve sworn to protect for “time and all eternity” or “until death do you part?”
Yes, the war is draining us emotionally and physically, but if we don’t take the battle to the enemy, they will bring it back home again. We are stronger than that. We cannot let them win by killing us physically and mentally abroad and killing our marriages back home.
-CJ, August 4th, Troops MUST Reintegrate Into Their Families
I want to thank my fellow writers for their moving tributes to Chris and the thoughtful, soul searching that we have shared together as we try to come to grips with this sad news. My friends have done such an exemplary job of addressing the issue and I join with them in expressing our heartfelt condolences to Chris’s family and especially to his children.
We’ll never understand, nor accept, why he took his own life. How can we? A man who was willing to give up his life in the service of his country should be the last person to take his own life and abandon his young family. It’s so sad to think that there was no one able to reach Chris before this tragedy occurred.
We all know that being deployed for long periods overseas places enormous strains on families. But until very recently, the suicide rate among our troops was at or below that of the population in general. This isn’t about the military. This is about a life lost. This is about a man, a father and a husband who lost his way and went down a dark path from which there is no coming back; no second chance. I doubt he choose that path. Some form of stress, or eruption of mental illness drove him down that path. The real tragedy here is that no one was able to reach him in time to save him.
If there is a “teachable moment” here it is to charge each of us with the responsiblity to extend a hand to anyone in similar danger. They may try and push us away, but that should only make us more determined to reach out and see to it they get the help they need. It’s not an easy thing to do and we may not succeed, but we must try.
People often wonder: what is the meaning of life? Why am I here? The answer is simple: we are put on this planet to love and care for others. If we can reach out and save just one soul in trouble then we are fulfilling our life’s mission.
UPDATE
More pictures from Chris
UPDATE 01-21-10
Shannon, Chris’s wife, forwarded me some pictures to put up. They were taken one week after he arrived home from Afghanistan: (click to enlarge)
Author of “Reparations and America’s 2nd Civil War
Reparations and America’s 2nd Civil War: Malensek, Scott: 9798864028674: Amazon.com: Books
@Shannon Galloway: I am so very sorry for the loss of your husband I wish you & your family the best. Pat
Randy F: Yes, This is the attitude we have to have in order to not make Chris’s death invane. As Many have said, he will NEVER be forgotten. Never, but as his wife, I feel an even stronger urge /duty protect other families and to prevent other Military families from having to go through the hell that we have been through the last few months.
Once an Army Wife, always a Army wife Chris used to say and he is right. Your Army/ military family is often closer to you than your biological family. They “get it”.
I have made it my “mission” to raise awareness anyway I can and to prevent others form having to go through what we have had to go through. Right now, my biggest job is to raise our 3 beautiful Children and to help them remember all the good things about daddy and there are many. Once we are a bit more healed, I will move on with the advocay portion of my mission.
Thank you to EVERYONE for all the wonderful stories and memories of Chris. This tribute has been very healing to me. More than I expected.
Shannon
GOD BLESS THE GALLOWAY FAMILY AND I PRAY THAT MAJOR CHRIS GALLOWAY WALKS WITH GOD.
(Thanks Mata for your comment: “And never again will I see another warrior/protector, without wondering if perhaps I should find a way to give back and refuel his spirit…. Just in case he or she is too proud to say they are in trouble.” That one means so very much for me).
Hi Shannon,
I appreciate so much your last comment, and your wanting to be an advocate for others who are struggling with this same crisis in their lives. I also agree that you being a loving mother to your beautiful children is the greatest mission at this time in your life. I, for one, and my household, will be praying for you, and hopefully will be a support system as well for you.
Your desire to help others, though, is very noble, and is much needed in our country for returning soldiers. Perhaps through Chris’s story, this will bring great good out of a very great loss. I for one, now want to be more involved in this area of need, and I believe others will be inspired to do the same. Sounds like Randy Fritz, above, is one of those people. I didn’t know Chris personally, but my heart is FULL of gratitude for him and our military, and this can be my/our way of thanking Chris for his great service to the country he loved and fought for. Every chance I get, I thank a soldier for his service when I see them, and tell them I appreciate what they are doing. I think seemingly little things like that make a big difference. But, of course, we need to do more.
Thank you for sharing your heart here, Shannon, at such a difficult time. Grace and peace to you.
@Shannon Galloway: Our prayers will be with you & your children. When I see the pictures of your lovely children and think of what lies ahead, it really hits a nerve with me. Reach out to those around you who are close and keep that support there.
Eventually I will type something here that will stay. So far, I have started 4 different things that I deleted … While I think these things need to be shared, I just an not sure this thread is the right place for it (it is all good … )
@Randy Fritz: Very well said! ALL OF IT!
I served in the Air Force and Air National Guard before getting out. It pains me deeply to see what is happening to our country. And I don’t mean only at the hand of democrats. I mean at the hands of ANY politician who would put their own self serving, greedy hands above all else.
It only adds to the stresses that you encounter in your daily lives.
Reaching out to those who have served (and to those who are under a ton of stress for that matter), is what is important. Yes, it may be hard to hear the hard things they share and may emotionally wear on the listener, but imagine what it is doing to them. Having that rock to lean on, that person to hear does help. And if you happen to find someone who really GETS IT, that helps that much more.
Part of the problem is that we need to find a way that people feel that they can open up about feeling suicidal without repercussions. I can only imagine how Chris’s military career would have been affected had he sough the help openly on that.
Its harsh enough as a civilian. You have to worry how opening up will affect your family life, your job and everything else going forward as it is now “on your record.” (And if you’ll end up locked up in a psych ward that would end up crumbling the rest of your life).
We don’t have to really understand WHY someone got to that point when they are there. First, we should help them maintain. Second, we need to get the support/help in place. Third, hopefully the WHY can be answered. Lastly, never abandon them as friends. Be there.
No one ever really wants to admit to being at that point. And when asked “are you thinking about …” What do you think MOST people will say when they are feeling that and they “know” what the repercussions on the rest of their life and family & friends are?
As a society, this has got to change.
Hawk
yes, Chris was VERY concerned about what it would do to his career. He was up for another promotion soon. He was an expert at hiding it at work and “faking it” Most people at work were shocked and said they had no idea, That is because Chris hid it so well. The Army didn’t listen to the family and I, as his wife did not go up the chain of comannd as I usually would because Chris asked me NOT to and I thought If I did THAT would push him over the edge and make matters worse. I truelly never thought Chris was thining of suicide, or I would have done whatever it took to get him the help he needed. no matter what.
Be there as friends and ALWAYS make the offer, but the person has to reach out to you too. I truely believe that If the offer of help is made and they don’t want it or they don’i reach out to you then there is little that you can do. I reached out and offered help to Chris repeatedly up to and including 30 June,
Shannon
Shannon – Obviously your husband was an extremely loving husband, father, and son. What devils played in his mind no one will ever know unless they have been thru it themselves. I just want to say it is important for you and your children to know that this was a personal demon he was fighting, and had nothing to do with his feelings for his family. If he could have helped himself, it never would have happened. I’m sure he loved you and the children more than anything in the world, but his demons pushed him. He couldn’t help himself.
God bless you and your children
Madalyn
I fondly remember the many conversations I’ve had with Chris over the past couple of years, at A Soldier’s Mind as well as through emails. Like all of the FA authors, I’d wondered about Chris lately and wondered how he was doing. I still have pictures he emailed me as a proud daddy of his beautiful daughter. He was SO proud of her. I’ll miss Chris terribly and will never forget him. Rest in Peace my friend.
Oh jeez. Haven’t felt so bad in ages. Don’t know what to say.
Here’s a tribute for you, Chris, done so much better than I ever could. From a fellow veteran who knows your death was as war-related as if it had happened in battle. You are a hero. Shannon please make sure your children know that when they are old enough to understand. Let no one ever tell you otherwise! Have a box of tissues ready.
Shannon, dont blame yourself, ever.
Peace, hugs and love, Jules
To my dearest family, some things I’d like to say…
but first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I’m writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there’s no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I’m out of sight.
Remember that I’m with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, “I welcome you.”
It’s good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they’ll be here later on.
I need you here badly; you’re part of my plan.
There’s so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man.
God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night, the day’s chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you….in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years
because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
But if I were to tell you, you wouldn’t understand.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o’er.
I’m closer to you now, than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
but together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I’d like it for you too…
that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.
If you can help somebody who’s in sorrow and pain,
then you can say to God at night……”My day was not in vain.”
And now I am contented….that my life has been worthwhile,
knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low,
just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.
When you’re walking down the street, and you’ve got me on your mind;
I’m walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.
And when it’s time for you to go…. from that body to be free,
remember you’re not going…..you’re coming here to me.
Ruth Ann Mahaffey (author)
©Copyright 1998-2009
http://www.ruthann1.com
Thank you for your service to this country, God bless you and those you have left behind.
For some grassroots training for us all, I thought it was appropriate to post on Major General Mark Graham’s ACE suicide prevention program.
Within this program is education for us all. We need to watch our warrior’s backs so that we do not lose any more Chris Galloway’s.
Shannon, it is good to hear from you… and to see a “Galloway” once more appearing on the FA site. We do hope you will check in and let us know how you and family are doing. And perhaps you may contact the various numbers for the ACE program to learn more. Chris would be very proud if you were astute enough, because of your own loss, to maybe prevent another family from going thru the heartache you now live daily.
My heart goes out to you. But you had the privilege, honor and joy of being selected by Chris as being special, and are now guardian over all your beautiful children. I surely hope that your joyful memories remain stronger than your grief, and wish you well in your future.
MataHarley
I definately plan on doing some advocacy to prevent other families from going through our hell. As stated in an earli8er post. I am a community Health Educator by profession. It is my job to educate the public on many health topics, but I think I have just found my new calling. Suicide prevention with in the military.
Thank you for your kind words. Yes, I WAS honored to be chossen by Chris to be his wife and have his Children. All 3 of them. Although I can totally hear Chris argueing that statement right now. “NO!! **I** am the lucky one to have such a gorgious loving and caring wife who puts up with me” we would jokingly have that arguement many times. Bottom line we were BOTH lucky to have found eachother and to have eachother for as long as we did. Chris my love, you will be very missed every day
Now that I have red the rest of the recent posts….
Jules THANK YOU for the beautiful poem. We needed that. very well put. JOE. UTUBE can be used for good things too:) very sad, but very fitting. We have always been honest with our kids. Our yr old son knows all about soilders and the good they are doiing. Every time he sees a soilder in uniform he or she is “daddy’s friend”. We tend to not use “hero” so much becaause Chris hated beiung thought if as a hero. He was “just doing his job, doing what is right” But we stress what an IMPORTANT job daddy had and how he has Many friends
Shannon
Dear Shannon, kids and Chris’ friends. I really have no words other than I hope he found his peace. My son, another Chris, has mental health specialist as his MOS and I understand, with heartbreaking clarity, why he is considered essential personnel. I am sure he understands it, but now I really do. Before it was with a mother’s selfishness that I was glad he is considered such, but I see now just how essential that position really is…RIP ChrisG, although you considered it your job, you truly were a hero and you will be truly missed and mourned. God be with you and your family and may you have your peace.
This is a very distressing news about Maj. Chris Galloway. My heart and condolences to his family and the Flopping Aces staff. RIP, Major Galloway.
Dear Shannon and Fellow Comrades at Arms,
As a soldier, a nurse, a former wife of someone who wrestled with demons, and a TBI survivor-this posting has moved me beyond tears. Shannon, your courage, love and commitment are strong. Stand with your priorities, and never forget to take care of yourself. You did all that you could, and in the end, you chose life for yourself and your children. In my experience, those who wrestle with demons are in a place where all they can see and feel is the pain. There is nothing else, and you want it to end. We who serve are accustomed to making decisions and taking action, not seeking help and spilling our guts. The military family bond is strong because we depend on each other for our lives. Your wonderful husband knew his children would be alright in your care. You gave all the love you could, and also that peace of mind. He will never be forgotten and his good work will live on. Fellows at arms, be vigilant. We who took an oath to defend the US Constitution must stand in the gap for Chris, and fight with all our skill and courage to get this country back on the right track. Aces, pleased to make your acquaintances. You fight the cyber war and I’m honored to serve with you. I’ll be back often. God speed,
Battle fatigue manifests in many forms. We Vietnam Vets have suffered a reputation for four decades as likely to”Kiss a train.” We can not escape the memories which define who we are, nor should we let others define us by the obligatory deeds we have committed in service to God and Country.
The GWOT extends beyond the military to DHS and especially folks at the TSA. Airport Security Screeners are subject to the same stresses imposed by unknowns and potential threats as soldiers on the field of battle, although not so implicitly. They are on the front lines here at home.
Sunday, August 9, an Army Veteran (Desert Flag) and TSA Veteran Screener of seven years, Leigh Belair (Manchester, NH), joined Major Galloway in the same manner. He left a wife, a daughter, and four step-children.
I join all of you in praying that the pain of their despair be known to God, that He might offer comfort to the Soldier (and his loved ones) who does His bidding in the name of the American people.
Keep Faith, you loyal and loving Patriots. The value of our service is being challenged from within, by people who know not the sacrifices of heart and mind to a cause greater than self. Our freedom and liberty are gifts from God which we must continuously guard against “…all enemies, foreign and domestic.” I encourage my Band of Brothers and Sisters to maintain the Brotherhood of the American Patriot and give aid and comfort to each other in times of distress. Our love is greater than their maniacal urges to usurp our liberty. Victory is certainly ours through Faith.
God bless, until we meet again…
I have never met you nor your family. Despite this and having served our great country as you have , this soilder salutes you in passing and promises that you will not be forgotten.
Rest in Peace and say hello to the Angels in Heavan for all of us.
My condolences to the family. RIP. js
I am SO sorry- it is unfortunately true that the good die young, but as my father once told me, you have to let go of the bad times, and remember the good ones. I too have had some friends who have not made the whole journey with me in this life, and I always am just a bit diminished when this happens.
Now it has happened again. Godspeed.
Respectfully, Blake
To Shannon: I have to tell you, I smiled when I read what you said about Chris and his disdain for the title of “hero…” Chris and I had “talked” about that, and he did write a piece on it.
As a Soldiers’ Angel, I have in my signature line:
“Every soldier is one of our own. Every soldier’s family is OUR family.” I believe this with every cell of my being.
As my Tanker Bros colleague Aussie Chic has already told elsewhere, Chris went out of his way to support those of us who were working in tangible ways to stand with our warriors, and their families. He made the time to be sure we understood so many things that we might not have otherwise. I feel so priviledged to have had Chris as even a small part of my life.
My heart goes out to you, for more reasons than you know.
You and your precious children – Chris loves you so much, this you know – will remain in my prayers, with respect, gratitude, and love.
Bless you.
Thank you for your continueing kind and heartfelt words.
Brat: soilders angels are fabulious!! keep up the good woirk 🙂
Bruce: I am sorry for your loss, May his friends and family also try to find peace in a VERY difficult time.
I was never a serviceman, but at the ripe old age of 55, there is no one I respect more on God’s green earth than those that have and do serve our country.
I never knew Chris but I know he served this country valiantly and I will forever be in his debt.
My family joins with you in your loss with prayers that you will be comforted and that time might heal the pain you are experiencing.
God bless you all,
Kent
What a shock. My heart goes out to all of Chris’ Flopping Aces great friends and Mrs. Galloway and her family. This is a beautiful tribute …. what a terrible loss. Rest in Peace, Chris….Looks like nobody here will ever forget you.
Thank you for removing Ted the troll’s comment. Those hateful democrats like him are the reason they will never be in power again. Thank God.
Gee owen- to say that you are trash that needs to be taken out would be too kind. Think perhaps you could be less of a human being? You sound like you cold use a good vivisection.
Could someone please remove Owen Finn’s comment which is completely out of line for this thread? Thanks.
Owen Finn…I have a size 9 boot that fits my foot, your face and backside.
Your post will be removed and don’t plan on pissing on any more boots here.
Take your disrespect elsewhere.
Owen Fin… WTF? Over. I agree it may not be the best pictuire of me ever, but I was not planning on 8X10 glossy head shots that day. I was sending my husband and my Chilren’s daddy off to war. I am with old trooper on this one… you want another set of boots up your ass that would be just fone with me
Shannon, I am so sorry you had to see this. Please disregard this scum of the earth person’s comment and know that there are just heartless people out there who hate everything and everyone.
Shannon,
p.s. my boots are available if you need them.
Shannon, I wish Owen had had the manners most people have- the compassion that most people have, but there are, unfortunately, some people who are just born mean, and take their joy from other’s tears. Sometimes they need a prayin’ over.
Shannon, YOU GO GIRL! I have a pair of thigh high boots you could borrow to do it in style too.
BTW, you are beautiful in your pictures. A proud mama and strong wife shines through those eyes.
Shannon, thanks for your condolences which I will pass on to Leigh’s family. God bless you, and all your family.
Owen, how many boots can you fit up there? I count four so far, if you include one of mine, and it sounds like there’s room for plenty more!
I dont know if this is the place for this, but I just had an idea pop into my head I wanted to share. I realize no one knows me, but I have read some stuff here a while back and I love your site. So you can take or leave my idea. I am sure you might have your own ideas too. For some reason this family really touched me and I feel close to them.
I just wander if it would be a place for a page on your site that you might call Galloway’s Aces. Some place where the fallen heros can be honored. No matter how they died, they are still heros.
Just an idea!
@Owen Finn,
Come out and fight like a man/woman…identify the root of your hatred…to have invoked such a vile comment, you must be emotionally in trouble…do you need counseling? Please let us know…
@Mrs Galloway,
Please know that there are subhumans that live such shallow lives, they patrol the web looking for places to dump their hatred…they are a non-event. They probably checked back on this site every five minutes to see if they got a reaction out of anyone…like an animal.
God Bless you and your family and the strength to move on from this and any other pathetic, “bottom-feeder” that may cross your path — with love, grace, and honor.
Shannon,
I tossed out the human trash that is Owen Finn.
I’m sorry I didn’t get to it before you, and the others here, were exposed to it.
Apparently Owen had breastfeeding issues as a babe which are now manifested as adult bedwetting and churlish blog commentary.
Owen Finn is the load his mom should have swallowed.
If anyone (other than Owen) deems my comment is inappropriate to this thread (it is in appropriate), by all means say so. I’ll be more than happy to remove my own gutter mouth, as well.
Shannon, I’m glad this post is bringing you some chance at healing and bringing attention to Chris. I hope it leads to lives saved and future suicides avoided.
Unfortunately internet snipers are out and about. Cowards that hide behind the anonymity of a keyboard to take a cheap shot at folks because they can and it gives them a sense of power over others. Things they don’t have the audacity to say to someones face. They post some crap and know that no one can lay a hand on them. That gives insight into character or the lack of it. In my neck of the woods comments like Finn ‘s would get a reward that he/she would feel for days.
This thread is a tribute to a fine Soldier, a loving Husband, a Father and an American Patriot and I sincerely hope that it has not been soiled by the rude comments from a Finn. Owen, Huckleberry or whatever. There are just a few folks out that have the manners of one that was raised by a pack of wolves and that is life as we know it.
Aye, thanks for stepping in here. There was another rude post by a “Ted” that was removed.
I hope that civility, respect and a little dignity can be maintained here.
Mrs. Galloway, We look after Our Own here. Nothing but heartfelt condolences and respect for You from my neck of the woods.
My sympathy to Shannon and Family.
Jules Galloway’s Aces or something like it is a great idea. Let’s work on it
Shanon Galloway
Brief comment on trolls…. They are so uneducated and their pure ignorance dosn’t even DESERVE a response, for that is what they feed off of and look for. Chris would either have ignored them completely or come up with some pithy/ smart ass comment for them, but I choose to ignore them. Thank you for removing the trolls
As with all who die of suicide, I find myself wishing I had known him and could have fixed it all for him so he would not decide to give up and die. I know this is irrational, but it never fails that I feel a sense of guilt for having not been able to protect one who is so special, worth loving and keeping in life.
He had a loving family and friends and they could not fix the thing of death that gripped his mind. I will pray for his soul and for his family and friends to be released from his mental illness.
If any other of you asshole soldiers are thinking about giving up, stop your nasty selves now. We need you more than ever in the US! We are going to put these freedom hate mongers back in the closet where they belong. Hang in there so you can see them squeal like pigs.
Sara, asshole soldiers, this kind of thing will not help anyone who is hurting or having thoughts of suicide. I agree the troops need to be stronger than ever right now given our current world, but it is that exact problem of “always be strong, never show your feelings etc.” that got Chris and many others like him in the trouble that they couldn’t find a way out of. I may get in a bit of trouble fot saying this, but ay Army/Military wife knows that a soidfer may look all strong and tough on the outside, but on the inside and especially at home, they are giant soft cuddly teddy bears who get hurt easily.
There needs to be an outlet for them where they can go and get the real help they need, or just to talk to another soilder who has BTDT on the battle field without fear of reprocussions or career penilty,
Shannon
Shannon – deeply sorry to hear of your loss.
Reading the words on here is very moving. I’m not sure if there are any words that can properly convey sorrow or comfort you. Chris must have been a very brave and special person as you are.
My condolences to the family of this fallen hero.
I have to say, that I quite selfishly mourn his passing, as I mourn the passing of all of our heroes.
Our American men and women are walking through a nightmare world that we have seen only on film. We as a nation are leaving it up to too few dedicated individuals to take care of them.
They suffer and sacrifice so that we may live the fat life, unscathed and complaining of bills and bad restaurant service.
How I wish, as I am sure so many do, I could have spoken with this American hero before it was too late.
I loved him, even though he never knew it. I love them all.
Pray for his family and those beautiful babies who will live on.
Words can’t express how heartbreaking it is to read of a son of our Nation feeling as if ending his life was the only option. Honor cannot grasp that some would demean those brave souls and their tireless labor to safeguard our security and prosperity amidst a fickle world.
But hope is the understanding that there are many who understand the sacrifice of our servicemembers and their families. And there can be rescue from despair as each one of us does our duty to serve servicemembers and aid their families in mind and livelihood. As we protect our servicemembers against despair–while we may not always succeed–we must never surrender, during war or upon peace.
To Major Galloway, his wife and three children, his mother and sister, those who serve in honor and those who have served in honor, to all military families who await peace, and to families who have found sorrow:
Thank you for your sacrifice. We will not leave you behind.
With respect,
A grateful American